Prelude
Scene: Cal State Football Field, afternoon
The football team tryouts are this day. All of the guys are standing in a line, ready to do laps.
Coach: 100 yards, 10 times. 80 yards times 8. 60 by 6. 40 by 4. 20 by 2. All in under 14 minutes. You know the drill. Let's toe the line, gentlemen!
The camera focuses on two players: JOSHUA PETER LANGMEAD, a 21-year-old black man, and SAM, a white man, who doesn't seem to be as in shape as JOSHUA.
Sam: Listen, I gotta make this cut to get that scholarship.
Josh: Look, man, just don't stop running. Don't stop running for nothing. You keep on with me, you'll be on the startin' line with me. Come on, baby.
Coach: Do you want to play football?
All: Yes, sir!
Coach: I said: do you want to play football?
All: Yes, sir!
Coach: I can't hear you!
All: (louder) YES, SIR!
Coach: Set. (blows whistle)
They start running the laps.
Cut to later...
Josh: How you doin', Sam?
Sam: Just worry about your own self.
Cut to later yet...
Josh: (ahead of SAM) This is me beatin' you.
Sam: Dream on, faggot!
SAM, throughout the running, has looked more and more tired and run-down. Finally, he collapses on the ground.
Coach: Man down! Man down! We've got a player down!
The COACH comes up to SAM to check if he's alright. He checks his pulse. All of the players circle around SAM, concerned.
Coach: Fight through it, Sam. Sam? Sam? (feels his chest) Okay, he's breathing.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the other players, JOSH becomes very out of breath, and clutches his head in pain.
Josh: Fuck!
He collapses to the ground in a heap. In the background, we see SAM stand up. All the players around him applaud and cheer.
Coach: Give a hand for Sam, everybody. This is the spirit of a real football player here!
We see JOSH's corpse, completely unseen by anybody else.
The screen fades to white.
"JOSHUA PETER LANGMEAD
1981-2001"
Act One
Scene One: Brenda's House, morning
BRENDA leafs through a cooking magazine. NATE enters.
Brenda: Do you think caviar is too pretentious?
Nate: Well, with the foie gras and the smoked salmon, it might seem like you're trying a little too hard to impress him.
Brenda: Fuck. I do want to impress him without it looking like I could give a shit, which, actually, I don't.
Nate: So, why do you want to impress him? (gets a cup of coffee)
Brenda: I don't know. Because Trevor was a big part of my life once. Cause his wife won a fucking National Book Award. Because I have nothing else to obsess about.
Nate: Well, you have me.
Brenda: You I take totally for granted, don't you know that?
Nate: I'm so glad you're feeling better.
Brenda: (laughs) Yeah, you and me both, fuck-o. That's the thing about depression: if you really allow yourself to feel it, it gets very boring very fast. You're not jealous, are you?
Nate: Of Trevor? Should I be?
Brenda: No. Of course not. So what if he's the man whose masterly touch ushered me into womanhood? The one I ultimately compare all other men to?
Nate: (serious but really joking) Okay, okay, fine. But, just so you know, you'll only have yourself to blame when I go all alpha dog and beat him to a bloody pulp in front of his wife and kid!
Brenda: (jokingly) Oh, my hero!
Nate: (joking) I'm gonna kick his ass. Fucking Trevor. Fucking Trevor.
BRENDA laughs.
Scene Two: Kroehner Services, International, Parking Lot
MITZI pulls her car into a space near the entrance. The space is marked, "Reserved for Mitzi Dalton Huntley." GILARDI comes up to her car. She gets out and lights a cigarette.
Gilardi: Good morning, Mrs. Huntley. Looks like another scorcher, huh?
Mitzi: Where are my new acquisitions, Mr. Gilardi?
Gilardi: I'm on it.
Mitzi: What you're on is my shit list, cowboy. I made you personally responsible for finding three homes that we can dump at a profit, and what do I get from you? Diddly squat! (locks her car with a remote, walks towards the enterance)
Gilardi: I already closed McKenzie Bros. and Dayle Montgomery!
Mitzi: Three new homes, Mr. Gilardi. Apparently, I misjudged your capabilities. What about Fisher & Sons? You've been after them for months now.
Gilardi: Well, they're more resilient than I expected.
Mitzi: (laughs) Jeez, Louise! Man, play like you've got a big dick! Can you get them for me or not?
Gilardi: You said I had till the end of the year.
Mitzi: Well, Christmas came early this year. You're fired.
Gilardi: What?
Mitzi: Your presence is no longer required. You're hereby rendered irrelevant.
Gilardi: You can't be serious! Mitzi! I can do this. I swear. Now just give me another chance!
Mitzi: You know, just because I fucked you, that doesn't put us on a first name basis!
She walks away and he stands there, shocked.
Scene Three: Fisher Kitchen
DAVE sits at the kitchen table in a suit. NATE enters.
Nate: Well, you're dressed early.
Dave: We have an intake at 9:30. Josh Langmead.
Nate: Am I supposed to know who that is?
Dave: Don't you watch the news?
Nate: Not if I can help it. It's too depressing.
Dave: Josh Langmead is the Cal State football player who died of heatstroke yesterday. 21 years old. In perfect health. Till his brain fried.
Nate: Fuck.
Dave: Well, I'm off to Torrence. I have a breakfast meeting with the Living Splendour sales rep.
Nate: Wait a minute. That means--
Dave: Now that you're a licensed funeral director, we can get twice as much work done around here! Just do me a favor. Don't even mention the word "cremation."
Nate: Okay. Can I mention the word "condescending"?
Dave: (on his way out the door) Be back by noon! (closes the door behind him)
NATE looks at the paper and sees pictures of JOSH in uniform and in his prom tuxedo.
Scene Four: Room Behind the Curtain
NATE's intake meeting with MR. and MRS. LANGMEAD. MR. LANGMEAD holds JOSH's football jersey.
Mr. Langmead: We thought Josh would want to be wearing his number for the viewing.
Nate: Well, of course.
NATE reaches to take it, but MR. LANGMEAD starts crying at the thought of letting go of it.
Mr. Langmead: I took him to his first Rams game when he was 3. It wasn't long after that he started wanting to play football.
Mrs. Langmead: (taking the jersey, fiddles with it) He had-- he had NFL sheets. Curtains. Pajamas. Five Halloweens in a row, he went as Bo Jackson. (gives NATE the jersey)
Mr. Langmead: It was his dream to play pro. I bet he could've, too. I think he was good enough. He was certainly motivated enough. You ever play ball?
Nate: Football? No, no way. My dad wouldn't let me. He said it was too d-- (catches himself) I played a little baseball in high school. Have you made a decision about a casket?
Mr. Langmead: We'd like the Titan 4.
Mrs. Langmead: How much is that?
Nate: 9200.
Mr. Langmead: What the hell, it's only money.
Scene Five: Open House
A REAL ESTATE AGENT is showing an open house to RICO and VANESSA. RICO's cousin, RAMON, has come too, to check out the place. VANESSA is very, very excited about the house.
Real Estate Agent: Well, granted, 1400 square feet is a bit cozy, but the layout is so ergonomic that it feels twice as large.
Vanessa: Honey, it's got a sun roof! (goes into another room; RAMON enters)
Rico: Girl's gotta get a better poker face.
Ramon: Yeah, too late.
Real Estate Agent: (comes up to RICO) It's very good that you brought your own inspector.
Rico: Uh, no, he's my cousin. He's in construction.
Ramon: So what's with the foundation?
Real Estate Agent: Oh, nothing. Perfect shape. Well, part of it was rebuilt two years ago, to the tune of 20,000. So, it's better than new now. Excuse me. (goes to another group of people)
Rico: What do you think, man?
Ramon: I'm not living here, man. I've got a house. What do you think?
Rico: I don't know. Vanessa likes it.
Ramon: Yeah, Vanessa likes dragging you around by your crank too, is what I think.
Rico: You're talking about my wife, man.
Ramon: Vanessa and me are tight, man. You know that. It's not about her. I'm just breaking it down to you the way the guys have been telling me. You've been acting like a candy-ass bitch ever since you got married.
Rico: Screw you, Ramon!
Ramon: Hey, screw me all you want! You know I'm right.
Vanessa: (reenters the room, jokes) What are all these people doing in our new house?
Rico: Baby, do you really like the house?
Vanessa: (jumps up and down) Yes! Yes! (kisses him)
Ramon: Rico, the house is good. It's got some little problems, but nothing I can't fix.
Vanessa: Rico, there's a yard for the boys. They'll be able to walk to school. You're closer to work. Ramon, can we use your truck to move? (hugs RICO)
Scene Six: Prep Room
NATE wheels JOSH's corpse, covered in a white, plastic sheet, into the prep room on a gurney, and heads towards the body fridge. He sees the white sheet start to move. He slowly goes to the body, freaked, and keeping a safe distance uncovers JOSH’s head. He is lying on the gurney, shaking and crying.
NATE's phone rings. He gets it.
Nate: Nate Fisher.
Sheri: Hi, there, Nate. This is Sheri from Appleby Caskets. We received your fax order and I'm awfully sorry, but the Titan 4 is no longer in production.
Nate: Oh, you've got to be shitting me!
Sheri: Well, you must not have our 2002 catalogue! I can pop it in the mail if you'd--
Nate: Well, what's the closest casket to the Titan?
Sheri: Oh, that would probably be our Haven 2. 4100 wholesale. Usually retails for about eleven six.
Nate: Son of a motherfuck!
Sheri: Sir!
Nate: Alright, I'll have to get back to you.
He hangs up the phone and quickly rolls the gurney into the freezer and locks it.
Scene Seven: High School, near Parker's Locker
PARKER gets something out of her locker. CLAIRE leans against the locker near hers.
Parker: (putting on lipstick) I swear, I fuckin' hate public school! This year-round shit? Fuck!
Claire: Well, we get October off and six weeks in the spring. What do you want?
Parker: This Persian girl who used to be my best friend at Archer, till I fucked her brother, she's spending the entire summer in France!
Claire: Where the fuck is Gabe? He was supposed to meet us here like ten minutes ago! (she takes out her cell phone and rings him)
Scene Eight: High School, exterior
GABE talks to DINK, who is pacing back and forth.
Gabe: Dink, it's gonna be alright, man. Everything is chill.
Dink: It's not chill. The cops have that fuckin' video at every school in L.A.!
Gabe: Which means they haven't IDed us yet, okay? Which means they probably can't ID us, and anyone who could is gonna keep quiet if they know what's good for him.
Dink: (under his breath) You'd better fuckin' hope so.
GABE becomes incensed. He gets up and slams DINK roughly into a fence.
Gabe: You fucker! Did you fuckin' tell somebody? Because if you fucking told somebody, I will fucking kill your bitch-ass, do you hear me? (GABE's phone starts to ring)
Dink: No, asshole!
Gabe: What about Andy?
Dink: How am I supposed to know? He's your fuckin' best friend!
GABE slams him against the fence again and answers the phone.
Gabe: (roughly) WHAT?
Scene Nine: High School interior, near Parker's locker
Claire: (to GABE, on phone) Uh, you were supposed to meet us like ten minutes ago. We're waiting. (hangs up)
Parker: Jesus, Claire, don't pussy-whip him. You gotta act like you don't care. Guys hate it when they're pussy-whipped.
Claire: Like you've ever stuck around long enough to find out, Wonder Slut!
ANDY walks up to CLAIRE. He is sweating and shaking and looks stoned off his ass.
Claire: What, Squirrel Nut?
Andy: (to PARKER) Your soul's on fire.
Parker: I know.
Andy: (to CLAIRE) Your souls are on fire. (reaches out a hand towards her breasts; she pushes his hand down)
Claire: Whoa, you are not on the list of people who get to touch my tits!
ANDY clutches his left wrist with his right hand, stares at it and screams at the top of his lungs.
Claire: Andy, what is wrong?
ANDY starts tearing off his shirt.
Andy: Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Parker: This is so fucked up!
Andy: Oh, God!
He falls to the floor, shaking. CLAIRE goes down on her knees and puts her arms on his back. A group of students crowds around and stares.
Claire: Andy, Andy, say something to me. I don't know what to do right now! Andy! Oh, my God!
GABE runs in and gets down next to CLAIRE.
Gabe: Andy! Look at me! (to CLAIRE) Go get the nurse!
Claire: Did he take something?
Gabe: Go!
CLAIRE runs off.
Gabe: (to ANDY) You stop it, stop it, you fucking bitch, or I will kick the shit out of you. Do you hear me? (yells at other students) What the fuck are you looking at?
Scene Ten: Prep Room
RICO aproaches the Prep Room, but stays outside when he hears DAVID and NATE arguing inside.
David: I told you last week that the Titan Series was out of production.
Nate: Yeah, well, I think that you should have torn the damn page out of the catalogue!
David: It was an honest mistake. We'll give them the Haven 2 for eleven six instead.
Nate: David, they're already paying more than they can afford.
David: You don't know that.
Nate: God, I cannot tell you how much I hate it when you patronize me!
David: I'm being understanding. You want patronizing? I'll give you patronizing!
Nate: Uh-huh.
RICO enters.
Rico: Hey, guys.
Nate: Hey, Rico. Langmead's in the reefer.
Rico: Yeah. You guys got a moment?
Nate: Yeah, what's up?
Rico: Vanessa and I found a house.
Nate: Oh, Rico, that's great!
Rico: Yeah, yeah, we really like the house! And, uh, we can swing the monthly payments, if we put down 20%.
Nate: What are we talking about?
Rico: Well, we pieced most of it together, but we're about 11 grand short.
NATE whistles.
Dave: 11,000?
Rico: Yup. By tomorrow. Look, we'll pay you back, over 18 months, at 7% interest. Now, that's a lot better than the bank, and not too far off the market.
Dave: We'll let you know by tomorrow. (NATE, surprised, looks at him)
Rico: Thanks. (smiles)
Dave: But right now, Mr. Langmead needs your attention.
Rico: I'm on it. (goes to the next room)
Dave: (to NATE) See? I am understanding.
Scene Eleven: Nikolai's Flower Shop
ROBBIE works on an arrangement. RUTH admires it.
Ruth: That's a lovely arrangement. What is it?
Robbie: Scalene vase. Didn't they teach you anything at Daffodil University? (RUTH looks hurt; he feels bad.) Actually, it's a combination of inverted T and scalene. It's my own design... (picks it up, takes it to her) and it's yours.
Ruth: No. I just wanted to learn how to make one.
Robbie: (puts the vase down near her) It's a gift from my heart. Seriously.
Ruth: Thank you so much, Robbie.
Robbie: Okay, Ruth, this is going to be hard for me to say, but-- I forgive you.
Ruth: Forgive me? For what?
Robbie: You destroyed the natural order of the universe, cupcake. Everything was perfectly quiet and boring around here before you came, and now Nikolai's all aflutter, wanting to make improvements. I'm expected to work. For his own carnal reasons, he favors you over me. And for that, I forgive you.
Ruth: I resent that! I've always conducted myself with complete professionalism!
Robbie: Whatever, Ruth. I forgive you.
Ruth: I don't need your forgiveness!
Robbie: Oh, no, no, goddammit! It's not supposed to go this way!
Ruth: What isn't?
Robbie: OK, Ruth, I'm graduating from The Plan tomorrow, and I would really like it if you would be my witness.
Ruth: The Plan? What is The Plan?
Robbie: It's a multi-disciplined course that allows you to think way beyond yourself and rebuild your life, from the ground floor, plank by plank.
Ruth: That sounds awful!
Robbie: It teaches you how to feel really good about yourself and get what you want out of life. Do you want to go? It would really mean a lot to me, Ruth.
Scene Twelve: Appleby's Display Room
A SALES REP shows DAVID and NATE the new casket display wall he would like to sell them for their funeral home. It contains a three-dimensional display of all of the coffins, which are represented by cross-section of each. Under each piece of a casket is a drawer, where interior fabric display options are kept. It is very modern and expensive-looking. DAVID looks as happy as a kid in a candy store. He is positively giddy!
Dave: Wow!
Sales Rep: Pretty sweet, huh? Each portal is lit by recessed halogens. Tasteful signs for the model name, materials and pricing. And this little drawer here? This displays your interior upholstery fabric. Point of purchase does not get any better than this, my friends.
Nate: It's very impressive.
Dave: Impressive? It's fucking gorgeous!
Sales Rep: It's a completely interactive retail experience! 'Cause human beings, we're tactile. We like to touch the fruit before we buy. I can't believe you guys! You're still using a catalogue! (demostrating) Now these caskets here, they're on the upper level. They appeal to men. It's at their average height. Down below are the ladies' favorites.
Dave: I have seen the future and this is it!
Nate: Dave, where would it go?
Dave: We put it in the second viewing room!
Nate: What, the room that we've been using for storage? David, that room needs serious work.
Dave: So? We use this as a reason to do it! Haven't we been planning to do that with the money Mom gave us, anyway?
Nate: Dave, that money is almost all gone.
Sales Rep: A two by five like this will not break your back. Twenty-one five. (they hesitate) I'll tell you what: twenty even. That includes installation. I'll even throw in a fresh coat of paint for your room. You cannot beat that with a stick.
Dave: Nate, you always say we need to spend money to make money.
Nate: Alright, how long to install?
Sales Rep: Give me the word and you'll be making sales in two days.
Nate: You really like it?
Dave: (smiling, beaming) Who wouldn't?!
Scene Thirteen: Brenda's House, nighttime
BRENDA prepares food in the kitchen. NATE stands close by.
Nate: I've never seen David happier. It was like Christmas morning when we were kids. (BRENDA hits a piece of chicken with a hammer) Whoa! Working out a little aggression there?
Brenda: We're having chicken piccatta. It needs to marinate over night.
Nate: You never cook like this for me. You never even cook.
Brenda: And when Trevor goes back to New Haven, I need you to forget that I can!
Nate: Alright. What should I wear?
Brenda: Speedo? Hair extensions? Wear what you want, I don't care. Don't wear one of your funeral suits.
Nate: Oh, I thought you don't care. (kisses her neck)
Brenda: Wear something that makes you look like the sexy bad boy you really are. Something that makes Mister Wife and Kids question all of his middle-class choices.
Nate: I'm all for that, just as long as you wear something low-cut in the back, so he can see my name branded on your ass!
She laughs. NATE looks up and sees JOSH standing in the middle of the living room, in his jersey. He looks lost, scared and confused. They stare at each other. NATE is transfixed.
Act Two
Scene One: Fisher Front Hall, next afternoon
MITZI opens the front door and lets herself into Fisher & Sons. She walks around, examining things with a condescending eye.
Mitzi: Hello! Hello? Hello?
She notices construction going on in the second viewing room. DAVE enters to greet her, unaware of who she is.
David: Hello?
Mitzi: Hey. New casket wall, huh? You boys are doing better than I thought. (extends her hand) I'm Mitzi Dalton Huntley.
David: (shaking hands) David Fisher. Do you need to plan a funeral?
Mitzi: (laughs) You have no idea who I am, do you? I'm Southwest Regional Director for Kroehner Services, International. (DAVID's demeanor changes) I was hoping that maybe you and your brother might share a cup of coffee with me.
Scene Two: Slumber Room
MITZI sits in a chair. NATE enters, in running gear, perspiring and drinking from a bottle of water.
Mitzi: Well, hello! Mitzi Dalton Huntley. (extends her hand)
Nate: Nate Fisher.
He does not shake her hand. MITZI gets the point and puts her hand down.
Mitzi: You're a runner, huh? It's bad for your knees.
Nate: Yeah, well, everything's bad for something.
Mitzi: So I hear.
Nate: Why are you here? I made it abundantly clear to Matt Gilardi we're not interested in selling.
Mitzi: Oh, Matt Gilardi is no longer with Kroehner. (off his look) Yup. I fired his worthless ass because I didn't like the way that he was representing our company. And that is why I'm here today. To do a little damage control and apologize to you boys.
Nate: Right.
DAVE enters with a tray with filled coffee cups on it.
Mitzi: (flirty) Oh, I don't blame you for not trusting me. Frankly, I'd be worried about you if you did.
DAVE gives her her cup of coffee.
Dave: Cream with three sugars.
Mitzi: Well, thank you. You didn't put rat poison in here, did you?
Nate: Drink it and find out.
Mitzi: (laughs) Oh, please! You boys aren't afraid of Big Bad Mitzi, are you? (takes a sip of the coffee) Come on. The economy is in a tail spin. Corporations are downsizing, and resizing, and reorganizing, including Kroehner. We can't afford to take you over. Honey, we've got problems of our own.
Nate: Okay, let's just cut the foreplay.
Mitzi: But that's the best part.
Nate: It's not that we don't trust you. We despise everything you stand for: corporate profits over personal service, stockholders over clients, greed over everything else, so I think you should take your gesture of good faith and shove it up your ass!
Mitzi: Ooh, well that's one opinion. Anything that you would care to add, David?
Dave: No, I think Nate pretty much summed our position up.
Mitzi: Well, alrighty, then. I'll just show myself out. (starts to leave, then turns) By the way, you might want to clean out your coffeemaker. Your coffee sucks. (she exits)
David: This is not so good.
Nate: Well, who the fuck is named Mitzi anyway? That sounds like something you name a fuckin' Chihuahua!
Scene Three: Second Viewing Room, later that day
NATE shows CLAIRE the new casket wall.
Nate: Pretty bitchin', huh?
Claire: When did you start getting all excited over caskets? (singsong) You're turning into David!
RICO enters behind them.
Nate: Don't ever say that again!
CLAIRE laughs.
Rico: (indicates wall) Very nice.
Claire: Oh, welcome to Casketeria! May I take your order?
They all laugh.
Rico: So, Mr. Langmead is all ready to go.
Nate: Great.
Rico: Yeah. So, Nate, have you guys had a chance to think about what we-- you know--?
Nate: Uh, yeah.
Rico: Yeah?
Nate: Yeah, let's go in the office.
Rico: Okay.
They both head for the office. CLAIRE starts chatting with one of the guys installing the wall. She indicates the caskets.
Claire: So do these really open? Can you, like, hide shit in here?
Scene Four: Office
NATE enters first, RICO follows.
Nate: Can you close the door?
Rico: (closes it) “Close the door” doesn't sound too good.
Nate: We can't give you a loan right now, Rico. (RICO sights and looks down, upset) Look, we just spent a fortune on the new casket wall, and now we have to maintain an emergency fund in case Kroehner starts acting up again, which suddenly looks very likely. It was a tough choice, I'm sorry.
Rico: How much did that casket wall cost?
Nate: Rico, our first priority is keeping this house open. The more income we make, the more you can make.
Rico: Tell me one thing: did you and David decide to buy that wall before or after we spoke. (NATE looks down) Wow. You know?, first you won't make me a partner, now you won't even--
Nate: (interrupting) God, you know, I've had it with you moping about not being a partner. It's not happening, alright? (starts to yell) I wish I could help you, but I can't. I mean, fuck, we're your employer, alright! We're not a goddamned savings and loan! (beat, backs off, feels bad) I'm sorry, Rico. If it were my money, I'd give you all of it, you know that.
Rico: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'll pass it along to my kids, after playing in a parking lot next to a dumpster! (exits angrily; slams the door behind him)
Nate: Fuck! (sights)
Scene Five: Prep Room
NATE carries down a box of "Living Splendour." He notices JOSH's casket open and quickly closes the lid. He sets the box down on a nearby table and opens it with an exacto blade.JOSH appears again in his jersey.
Josh: I'm scared. What's gonna happen to me now?
Nate: (back still turned) Well, that's not my problem, pal. (suddenly turns around to face him) WHAT?!
Josh: I was so young. Why me?
Nate: (screams at him) Well, why the fuck not you?! What?! Did you think you were immune to this?! Everybody dies! Everybody! What makes you so fuckin' special?!
JOSH disappears. NATE stands alone in the prep room.
Scene Six: The Plan Meeting, outside the auditorium
A large group of people have assembled for The Plan graduation. A table is set up, with brochures. People from The Plan sit behind it, answering questions. RUTH looks through a brochure, skeptically. She is wearing a paper sticker with her name on it on her blouse. A nice-looking woman with white hair, named BEATRICE, comes up to her. She is wearing a "Beatrice" sticker.
Beatrice: What do you think?
Ruth: (thinking BEATRICE is in the program; puts the brochure down) I'm not signing up for anything.
Beatrice: Oh, I'm not selling anything. I'm a visitor, just like you. Do you know how you can tell? The Elevated wear plastic tags.
Ruth: The Elevated?
Beatrice: Oh, you'll learn the lingo. My daughter is graduating today. You?
Ruth: My business associate is graduating. So what exactly is this?
Beatrice: Well, I don't know for sure myself. But Shelia has never been happier, so I wanted to see what it was all about.
They hear a female speaker, ALMA, at the podium in the auditorium in the next room.
Alma: Let's get started. Today just might be the most important day of your entire lives.
Beatrice: Come sit with me. There's safety in numbers.
Scene Seven: The Plan Auditorium
The auditorium is filled with people. RUTH and BEATRICE sit together in the third row. ALMA talks into a microphone. Behind her sit a line of graduates, the Elevated. ROBBIE is among them, as is SHEILA, BEATRICE's daughter.
Alma: You cannot design a life that works without first drafting a clear blueprint. And you cannot construct a life that has meaning without first laying a solid foundation. You are the architect of your life. Not your emotionally distant father. Not your overly critical mother. Not your petty, fairweather friends. You.
A nebbishy guy with glasses takes the podium.
Guy: It was hard the first time I stood up for myself. I always wanted everybody to like me. Even though I hated myself, you had to like me. When I rebuilt my foundation, and I was able to honor and elevate the better part of me, I realized I really like me. So you don't have to!
The audience claps. Time passes. Now ROBBIE is at the microphone.
Robbie: I'm not a salvage job. I am not a teardown. I am not junk. It's taken me many years to say that. To believe it. There are days that I slip and I treat people like shit. Like I treated myself for the last 30 years. But then I swear I'm going to win this. I'm going to build the life that I always wanted to live. (he smiles)
RUTH looks profoundly moved by his speech. She laughs with joy for him. Time passes. SHEILA speaks now.
Sheila: I thought it was too late. Two terrible marriages. Children who won't even return my phone calls. It hurts. I'm 41 and I feel like I'm 80. But I have value. I'm still here. And as long as I believe in myself and speak fiercely from the Eye, then there's still hope. There's no mortgage on my life. I own it. (starts to cry) Thank you, Mom.
BEATRICE starts to cry. RUTH hands her a handkerchief and starts to smile and clap.
Scene Eight: Racquetball Court, indoors
DAVID plays racquetball with KEITH. DAVID is horrible at it! He keeps slamming into the walls and narrowly missing being struck by the ball.
Scene Nine: Gym, after the game
DAVID and KEITH head for the showers. They're still in their gym clothes.
Dave: Well, that was humiliating. As if my self-esteem wasn't low enough.
Keith: It's kind of funny: all that time we were racquetball partners, we actually never played racquetball.
Dave: I am serious about wanting to learn how to play. Are you available Thursday afternoon?
Keith: I don't know. I'll check. Hey, wanna drop by my niece's birthday party later? Eddie's on call.
Dave: Uh, sure.
Keith: I got a couple of errands to run. I'll call you later.
Dave: I've got nothing to do. I'll just tag along, if that's okay.
KEITH smiles.
Scene Ten: High School Parking Lot/Prep Room
CLAIRE is walking along, when PARKER runs up to catch up with her.
Parker: Oh, my God. Did you hear? Andy was doing Fry!
Claire: I'm sorry. In English?
Parker: Fry! Wet! Illy! You're telling me you've never heard of Fry?
Claire: I'm sorry. My parole officer frowns on controlled substances.
Parker: Okay. You take your standard garden variety doobie, right? You dip it in embalming fluid, cut it with God knows what, and BAM! All your states are altered and you see God! Or... you're in tweaker Hell, bouncing off lockers and swallowing your own tongue, like Andy.
Claire: Embalming fluid? Are you kidding me? I've smelled that shit! It's like lethal!
Parker: You oughtta get out more. Live a little.
Claire: You've done this?!
Parker: No. But if you ever wanted to make a quick buck--
Claire: Oh, fuck off, Parker! I am not getting into the pot and embalming fluid business! I've had enough run-ins with the police, thank you!
Parker: At fifty dollars a pop, you might change your mind.
CLAIRE has a flashback of GABE in the prep room. The camera focuses in on the open cabinet, where the embalming fluid is kept.
Claire: Oh, my God! That fuckin' asshole!
Parker: Right? Right? I mean, Andy's gonna be in detox for like a week!
Scene Eleven: Brenda's House, nighttime
BRENDA puts the finishing touches on the food in the kitchen.
Brenda: Look okay?
Nate: It looks fine. It looks like a page out of Gourmet Magazine!
Brenda: Excellent!
Nate: You know they put hairspray on food before they photograph it sometimes?
Brenda: Really?
Nate: Yeah, I used to go out with this food stylist in Seattle. I mean, they do stuff to food that is way worse than what we do to bodies, believe you me.
Brenda: Huh.
There is a knock at the door. BRENDA looks terrified.
Brenda: Okay. Tell me I look beautiful.
Nate: You are beautiful.
Brenda: Wow. (smiles) You even mean that. Okay.
She braces herself and marches into the living room and towards the front door. NATE follows closely behind her. She opens the door. TREVOR stands there with his wife, DAWN, and their young son, WILL. WILL runs into the house and rides his miniature toy truck against the walls, making noises.
Brenda: Hi!
Both: Hi!
Trevor: Will, at least say "Hello!"
Will: Hello!
Trevor: Wow, Bren, it's great to see you! It really is.
He goes up to her and hugs her.
Brenda: Oh, my God! I'm gonna cry! (they both laugh. To Dawn) You must be Dawn!
Dawn: (hugs her also) Hi! Oh, it's nice to meet you. Thank you so much for letting us bring Will. Trevor really wanted you to meet him.
Brenda: Oh, I really wanted to meet him. (to WILL) Hey, hi, Will!
Dawn: Will, can you say “Hi”? (to BRENDA) He'll crash in a little while. I promise.
TREVOR goes up to NATE and shakes hands.
Trevor: Hi. I'm Trevor.
Nate: Nate.
BRENDA gives a face like she can't believe she didn't think to introduce them.
Brenda: Oh! (introducing) Nate. Dawn.
Dawn: (shakes NATE's hand) Pleasure.
Nate: Hi. How are you?
Dawn: This place is really cool.
Brenda: Yeah. (smiles) So, wine anyone?
Dawn: I'd love a glass.
Brenda: Yeah?
Will: I want wine!
Trevor: (picks him up) Oh, you do? Well, what do you say?: "I want wine, please!"
Dawn: (to WILL) Hi, Mr. Pooh Bear. Do you remember what we discussed in the car?
NATE watches the couple and their child. He smiles. BRENDA pours wine and turns around, watching them too. She isn’t smiling, though.
Scene Twelve: Brenda's Kitchen, later
BRENDA tosses a salad while DAWN stands by and talks to her.
Brenda: So, how's the press tour going?
Dawn: Oh, God, I feel like such a sell-out! I actually did "Politically Incorrect" last night!
Brenda: Wow! Was it fun?
Dawn: Oh, hardly. It was me, Kobe Bryant, that emaciated chick from "The Practice," and some twelve year old rap singer I'd never even heard of!
Brenda: I read your first book. I thought it was brilliant.
Dawn: Thank you! I can send you a copy of the new one, if you'd like.
Brenda: I would. Thank you.
Dawn: You know?, I read "Charlotte: Light and Dark." (laughs)
Brenda: Oh, dear! Why? (laughs)
Dawn: In grad school. I had this idiot professor who insisted that it was the perfect profile of a classic borderline personality. You've heard that before, right?
Brenda: I actually went to the library, looked up the symptoms and started behaving like that just to fuck with them!
Dawn: Seriously?
Brenda: Uh-huh.
Dawn: That's brilliant! How old were you?
Brenda: I must have been nine or ten. It was towards the end.
Dawn: Personally, I think it's a crock of shit. Did you ever notice how the majority of borderlines are women? I see it as just a misogynistic attempt to pathologize women who refuse to toe the patriarchal line! (BRENDA seems to be considering that)
Scene Thirteen: Brenda's Living Room
NATE and TREVOR stand and chat. We can hear the two women laughing in the other room.
Trevor: Yeah, yeah, I spent 6 months in Seattle on a teaching fellowship. Ever do any climbing up there?
Nate: Oh, yeah, some boulder climbing. Normal climbing with ropes but... Are you a cragger?
Trevor: Eh. Rank amateur urban kind, but I love it. You done climbing rock?
Nate: Yeah, that's where I learned. I never knew 30 feet was so high off the ground.
Trevor: 30 feet? That's nothing! I've got a couple of buddies. They're real thrillseekers. I mean, they climb high, but no way I can do that. (indicates WILL) Gotta think about more than just myself now. (long beat) Bren looks great. How's she doing?
Nate: Oh, she's doing great.
Trevor: Man, she is so fucking smart!
Nate: Yes, she is!
Trevor: She used to run circles around me, I can tell you that. Everybody expected such great things from her. (beat) How's her brother?
Nate: He's in the hospital right now.
TREVOR nods and they both drink from their glasses.
Scene Fourteen: Brenda's Living Room, during dinner
They all sit around the table eating, except for WILL, who lies on the floor.
Brenda: I just really wanted to get out of my head, so I took 18 months of classes, down at the Shiatsu Institute, thinking I'd do it until I figured out what I really wanted to do. And here we are, 10 years later.
Trevor: But you love what you do, right?
Brenda: I do.
Trevor: That's the key. And you know what?, there is this girl in my health club. She doesn't do shiatsu but I swear, she is gifted. Gif-ted!
Brenda: You know, there's a science to shiatsu. Chinese medicine dates back over 2000 years.
Dawn: Hmm... this is delicious, Brenda. You know?, I never cook like this. I can make pasta, but that's about it.
Trevor: She's got me beat. I can make toast. And ice cubes.
Brenda: Nate does pretty good microwave popcorn.
Dawn: What do you do, Nate?
Nate: I'm a funeral director.
There is a stunned silence for a few seconds.
Trevor: (almost scared) Really?
NATE nods.
Trevor: Huh. (almost stutters) What--what--what makes one to decide to--uh--become a funeral director?
Nate: Well, I was born into it, actually. Sort of like being born into the Mafia.
TREVOR and DAWN have a hearty laugh. BRENDA rolls her eyes, which NATE notices. WILL comes up to NATE and runs his toy cars on NATE's arm.
Nate: Hey, not so fast there, hotshot! It's a tow road!
WILL smiles and NATE smiles back. He looks up and sees JOSH sitting on the floor in a door threshold, staring back at him. Everything is very still. WILL starts screaming at the top of his lungs.
Trevor: Will! Will!
Dawn: Time out. Sometimes he becomes completely irrational just to gain attention.
Brenda: (smiling understandingly) Hell, sometimes I do that.
DAWN takes WILL outside to calm down. NATE stares into empty space.
Scene Fifteen: Karla's Apartment
KEITH knocks on the door of his sister, KARLA's, apartment. DAVID stands next to him. KEITH is carrying a wrapped gift. TAYLOR, his nine-year-old neice, a very pretty girl, answers the door.
Taylor: (runs and hugs him) Uncle K!
Keith: Hey, baby girl! Happy birthday!
Taylor: I'm nine!
Keith: Oh, well, I guess that means I can't call you "Baby Girl" anymore.
Taylor: You better not!
KEITH smiles.
Keith: This is my friend, David.
David: Hi, there.
Taylor: (enthusiasm drained) Hi.
Keith: So where's the party?
KEITH follows her inside the apartment. It is messy. An open Entennmann's cake sits on the table, still in its box. The TV is on. KEITH looks very upset.
Taylor: (re: the cake) You want some? It's good.
KEITH gives her the present.
Keith: This is for you, sweetheart.
She opens it, excitedly. It's an Easy Bake Oven.
Taylor: I saw this in the store!
Keith: Yeah, I can't believe they still make these! I thought you'd like it.
Taylor: (hugs him) Thanks, Uncle K.
Keith: Where's Mommy?
Taylor: In the bedroom, sleeping.
Keith: I'm going to go and talk to her for a little bit, alright?
Taylor: (looking at the box) Okay.
KEITH gets up and goes to the bedroom. DAVE sits down next to TAYLOR. She looks at him awkwardly and goes back to her present.
Scene Sixteen: Karla's Bedroom
KEITH enters the bedroom. KARLA is lying on her stomach, konked out on the bed.
Keith: Karla! Karla!
She stirs and wakes up.
Karla: Hi. Thought you wasn't comin' till later.
Keith: It is later. What happened to Taylor's birthday party?
Karla: Shit! I got home from work and was bone-tired. I'll take her to the flea market on the weekend, get her something.
Keith: (yells) That's all you did for her birthday? Buy her an Entennmann's cake?!
Karla: It's her favorite.
Keith: What are you on? Don't lie to me!
Karla: I ain't on nothin'! Ok? What? You think I'm suicidal or just plain stupid?
Keith: I think you need to stop living just for yourself and start thinking about that little girl in there.
Karla: I am 7 months clean! I work 2 jobs and take care of my kid! What? I forgot her motherfuckin' birthday! Do you want to arrest me for that?
Keith: (grabs her by the shoulders, yelling) Look, you can do all the damage you want to yourself, I can't stop that! But I'm not gonna let you fuck up her life!
Karla: Take your hands off me.
Keith: Karla--
Karla: I will file an assault charge, and you do not want that.
He freezes. She shakes herself off.
Scene Seventeen: Karla's Living Room
DAVE helps TAYLOR open the Easy Bake Oven box. She's starting to warm up to him.
Dave: My sister had one of these when she was a kid. But I broke it.
Taylor: On purpose?
Dave: No. I wanted to make a pizza and I put in a 300 watt bulb, and the whole thing melted!
Taylor: That's dumb!
Dave: Yeah, I know, and I was seventeen!
TAYLOR and DAVE laugh. Suddenly they hear KARLA and KEITH's screaming voices coming from the bedroom. Their laughter stops.
Keith: (O.S.) You don't give a fuck about her! I'm talkin' to you!
Karla: (O.S.) You don't know shit! Get the fuck out of my house!
Keith: (O.S.) I do! I do!
DAVE and TAYLOR start talking again.
Taylor: Do you live in a house?
Dave: Yup.
Taylor: A big house?
Dave: Not that big.
Taylor: Got a daddy?
Dave: I used to.
KEITH enters, almost shaking from anger. He goes up to TAYLOR.
Keith: We gotta go, okay?
Taylor: (sad) Okay.
Keith: Alright, listen, uh, I'll come back tomorrow as soon as I get off work and we'll go to the movies, okay?
Taylor: Okay.
They hug.
Keith: (to DAVID) We gotta go.
TAYLOR waves goodbye to DAVID and he does the same. DAVID and KEITH leave. TAYLOR sits on the couch looking alone and sad.
Scene Eighteen: Brenda's House
The happy couple and their demon child have left! NATE and BRENDA sit together on the floor, amid the mess of used wine glasses and plates on the tables.
Brenda: Oh, my God! What was I thinking? Well, I was only 19.
Nate: Aw, come on, it wasn't that bad.
Brenda: Oh! (mimics TREVOR) "There's this girl at my health club. She is gif-ted!" Gif-ted? (laughs) What a dork! His ears were filthy. Did you notice that?
Nate: No.
Brenda: Now, her I liked.
Nate: That kid! What a freak!
BRENDA laughs.
Nate: (like taking to his parents about the freak kid) Start saving up for therapy now! (back to BRENDA) We need some friends. Some couples we don't hate.
Brenda: We have each other. (he kisses her over the head. Beat) Maybe we should volunteer some place. (looks at him, straightens up, facing him) No, I'm serious. Do something good for the world. Exchange Program. Habitat for Humanity. Meels on Wheels. Just give more, consume less.
Nate: Brenda, I'm dying.
Brenda: (stunned) What? What did you say?
Nate: After the auto accident, I had x-rays, MRIs, and they found something. They found-- it's called AVM, I don't know. And I think I'm gonna die from it. (starts to cry) I don't know when. I'm so scared.
BRENDA flicks NATE hard on the head.
Brenda: Are you listening to me?
Nate: Yeah. Meels on Wheels. You really wanna do that?
Brenda: (stands up, goes to get her pot) I don't know. I have to do something. I hate my fucking life. (sits on the floor, starts making a joint)
Nate: What's wrong?
Brenda: I was watching Trevor and Dawn tonight, thinking they're just so--so--so complete. Like they have something that I will never have, ever. Either I wasn't born with it, or it was beaten out of me, or maybe, maybe I made myself into a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I really am a borderline personality. Now, wouldn't that be ironic?
Nate: Hey, what's going on with you?
Brenda: (runs her hand over her head and desists on the joint-making, putting her pot aside) I don't know. I spent my childhood performing for clinicians, the rest of my life taking care of my trainwreck of a brother, and I have no idea who I am. I'm gonna make a cup of tea. Want one? (gets up and goes to the kitchen)
Nate: No thanks.
The screen fades to white.
Act Three
Scene One: Second Viewing Room, Fisher House
NATE, DAVID and RUTH stand, looking at the finished casket wall.
David: God, I can't wait until our next funeral!
Nate: What do you think, Mom?
Ruth: It's very modern.
David: We figure it'll pay for itself in less than eight months.
Ruth: What did we spend on this?
NATE looks at DAVID, prompting him to answer.
David: About 20,000.
Ruth: How much is left in the reserve fund I gave you?
Nate: I'll have to check.
Ruth: I want a full accounting of how you spent that 93,000. I'm an investor in Fisher & Sons. That wall is part of my investment and I want a return!
David: (laughs) Well, of course, Mom.
Ruth: (infuriated) I am speaking fiercely from the Eye! Do you mind? (storms off)
They both make weird faces. DAVID looks at NATE.
Nate: I don't know.
The Appleby SALES REP from earlier enters, with papers for the brothers to sign.
Sales Rep: I just need one of you to sign right here, and we'll be done.
Nate: Do we need to write you a check right now, or can we just mail it to your office?
Sales Rep: Uh, you might want to open this first. (hands NATE a card; he opens it) (re: the casket wall) Came out good, huh?
David: It's beautiful.
Nate: It's great. (reads from the card) "Enjoy the new casket wall. It's on me. Kisses. Mitzi Dalton Huntley."
David: Why would she pay for our wall?
Sales Rep: She didn't pay for it. Appleby Caskets is owned by Kroehner.
David: Since when?
Sales Rep: Since three weeks ago. Enjoy. (leaves)
Dave: She has us selling Kroehner caskets!
Nate: Wow. She's good. Well, I guess we can at least help out Rico now.
Dave: Yeah, that's a good idea. Then we go under, and he's out of work, and he can't afford to pay us back. Which won't matter because we won't exist anymore.
Nate: David, we just saved 20 grand.
Dave: We didn't save 20 grand! We just didn't spend it! Actually, we just lost 16 hundred, because we had to give the Langmeads the Haven 4 for an even ten, thank you very much!
DAVE storms out. NATE sights and turns back to stare at the casket wall.
Scene Two: Prep Room
RICO works on a female corpse, while VANESSA stands by him.
Rico: Honey, of course I love the house but, believe me, they are never gonna give us the money.
Vanessa: You love the house, though.
Rico: We just have to keep on looking, baby.
Vanessa: No, we don't. I went to the realtor this morning and we got the house! I wrote a check for the down payment and now Julio can have his own room!
Rico: (smiles) What? Where did you get the money? What do you mean?
Vanessa: Okay, don't be mad.
RICO's happy face turns sour. He covers up the corpse and takes off his gloves.
Rico: You went behind my back and asked your sister for the money? Are you crazy?
Vanessa: Rico, I wasn't about to lose that house.
Rico: (yelling) I provide for this family, NOT HER! I've gone eight to ten hours a day missing my kids to get us what we need. I DON'T NEED HER FUCKING HANDOUTS!
Vanessa: Please, I don't want to hear any machismo bullshit today!
Rico: (beat) What did you say to me?
Vanessa: (beat, realizes she has crossed the line; backs off) Baby, we have a house. It's our first house. Can you be happy?
Rico: I'm cancelling that check. (reaches for the phone)
Vanessa: (pleading) Listen to me: when the transmission went last month, where'd the money come from? When I chipped my tooth and we couldn't afford the dentist, who paid for it? Angelica's doing good. She has extra money. She's family. She loves us. She wants to help us. So please, put down the phone.
There’s a beat and then he reluctantly hangs the phone, never looking at VANESSA in the eye.
Vanessa: (smiles) We have a house. (takes his head in her hands, making him look her in the eye) Everything is good.
He doesn't look too convinced.
Scene Three: Outside the High School
GABE sits on a bench. CLAIRE comes up to him, infuriated. He doesn't notice that.
Gabe: I haven't seen you all day.
Claire: How's Andy?
Gabe: He's gonna be okay.
Claire: What was he on?
Gabe: Some weird shit. I don't really know.
Claire: Because I heard he smoked a joint dipped in embalming fluid.
Gabe: I wouldn't know.
Claire: (now yelling) That wouldn't be embalming fluid that you stole from my house, right? (shoves him hard) What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have any idea how much trouble this could get us in? (almost crying) I mean, first of all, he could've died. And my brothers could be getting a fucking phone call from the cops right now, and you're gonna bring this on my head?
Gabe: (stands up, interrupting) Would you stop? Look, I gave Andy five or six to sell and he fucking smoked them all. I am sorry that I fucked with you. But you took me down there, and I saw the stuff, and I just wasn't thinking.
Claire: Oh, you were thinking. You were thinking about yourself! (pokes him hard in the chest with her pointer finger)
Gabe: (gets worried) Claire, listen to me. Listen to me. Look, the cops have a videotape of me and Andy and Dink robbing a fucking convenience store and now I'm worried that Andy's gonna turn me in.
Claire: (astonished, she backs up) Who the fuck are you?
Gabe: (close to tears, gets down on his knees) Fuck! Everything I touch turns to shit! (beats himself over the head) Everything is shit!
Claire: Everybody was right about you.
Gabe: You are the only good thing that I have left. Please don't give up on me. (cries) Please. (he reaches for her)
Claire: (crying) No.
She walks away.
Scene Four: Fisher Living Room
NATE gets on his running clothes and sneakers. JOSH appears again, crying, in his jersey. He’s sitting on the washing machine..
Nate: Oh, Christ. You know?, you're really starting to piss me off. What?! What?! What?! What the fuck do you want from me?!
Josh: (cries) I want you to see me! Look at me!
NATE turns around, ignoring him. He starts to tie his shoes and sees JOSH now sitting in front of him. He is no longer crying but is calm, cool and collected.
Josh: Look at me.
NATE does.
Josh: (smiling) That's more like it.
They sit in silence, just staring at each other.
Scene Five: Second Viewing Room, a few minutes later
DAVID opens a drawer and caresses the interior fabric samples. NATE enters.
Dave: You done with your run already?
Nate: Uh-- I didn't need it.
Dave: Well, the Langmead viewing is at 6. You're ready, right?, because if you're not--
Nate: Dave, I need to tell you something.
Dave: What have you done now?
Nate: (laughs, reservedly) I think we should sit down.
They both sit on the window sill. Their dialogue lowers. The camera pans back, slowly, as the background music gets louder.
Dave: What is it?
Nate: Um-- Listen, if I've been a dick or something, I'm really sorry. I found out that I have a condition, called AVM. It basically means...
Now the music is too loud, we can’t hear him anymore, but we see NATE eventually break down into tears. DAVID takes his hand and holds it, warmly.
The screen fades to white.
END OF ACT THREE
END CREDITS