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#207 : Retour aux sources

Nate cherche des conseils spirituels auprès d'Ari, une femme rabbin, pour mener à bien un enterrement juif. En week-end chez sa tante Sarah, Claire fait une rencontre inattendue. Pendant ce temps, une urgence médicale incite David à renouer avec Keith. Quant aux soupçons jaloux de Federico au sujet de son cousin Ramon, ils s'avèrent infondés...

Titre VO
Back To the Garden

Titre VF
Retour aux sources

Photos promo

Brenda et Nate, fiancés

Brenda et Nate, fiancés

Claire part en weekend

Claire part en weekend

Claire et sa tante

Claire et sa tante

Plus de détails


Scene: Shapiro House, daytime

JEFFREY MARC SHAPIRO, a 39 year old man, stands near his kitchen counter, and cuts a lemon wedge. He picks up an already-poured glass of ice water, and walks to a room where he's set up a small gym for himself. He puts down the glass and the lemon, and turns on the TV. The news is on.

Announcer: ... following Wall Street's sharp rebound and boosted by a renewed hope in a government plan to lift the banking sector out of its doldrums. In currency trading...

JEFF puts a tape in the VCR. It is a porn movie. On the tape, a girl, wearing nothing but a towel, answers her front door. Two guys are there.

Guy #1: Hey.

Girl: Hi.

Guy #1: Me and my buddy, we just moved in next door--

Guy #2: We were wondering who lives here.

JEFF watches, and drinks his water.

Girl: Nice to meet you. I was just about to get in the shower. Come on in. I'll be out in a moment. (leaves)

Guy #1: Nice.

JEFF starts taking off his belt and buckles it to the third or fourth hole, turning it into a makeshift noose. He hangs it to the top of one of his exercise machines.

Guy #2: She's hot!

Guy #1: Ay, you're telling me, brother.

They follow her into the bathroom.

Girl: Hey, I thought I told you guys to wait in the other room!

Guy #1: Well, we thought you might...  need some help--

Guy #2: Getting clean?

Girl: Oh...

She drops her towel to the floor, and begins touching one of the guys erotically. The guys start removing their clothes. Meanwhile, JEFF unzips his fly, takes out some lubricant, and starts rubbing it on his hands and touching himself.

Guy #1: This is so cool. Yeah, you like this, don't you, huh?

JEFF continues masturbating, as he watches the video.

Girl: Oh, yeah! Why don't we move over here?

She takes them over to her bed, and they all start going at it.

Guy #1: Do you want... ?

Guy #2: Ah!

As JEFF gets more and more aroused, he suddenly stops jerking off for a moment, picks up the lemon wedge and puts it between his teeth.

Guy: You're a nasty girl, aren't you?

JEFF gets up on the bench under the exercise machine, puts his head through the noose, and steps off the bench.

Girl: Oh, you guys are the best neighbors I ever had! Uh, oh, yeah, God, oh, he's close, God...  oh.

They all start moaning. As JEFF hangs by the noose, he continues masturbating intensely. Veins start to pop around his forehead, as his breathing is cut off for longer and longer. His vision becomes bleary and his hearing becomes drowned out by the beating of his heart. Suddenly, as he almost reaches climax, the lemon wedge falls out of his mouth. His vision continues to blur, until it is gone all together.

The screen fades to white.


Act One

Scene One: Keith's Apartment, nighttime / daytime.

It's a dark and rainy night. The doorbell rings, and KEITH runs to the front door to answer it. It’s DAVID, soaking wet and crying.

Keith: David. You're all wet! Were you crying?

David: No, it was raining, and... (stops his lie) Yes, I was crying. I love you.

Keith: I love you.

KEITH hugs DAVID hard, caresses his face, and kisses him passionately, stroking his hair. The camera circles around and around the couple as the romantic soundtrack music swells.

KEITH wakes up, and turns off his clock radio, which is where the music had been coming from. He closes his eyes again.

Scene Two: Keith's Apartment, a little later.

TAYLOR is watching the TV in the living room. There is a plate with an omelette sitting on her lap that she is barely eating.

Keith: Didn't I ask you to clean up after yourself? (TAYLOR says nothing, as he packs her schoolbag) Why did you ask for an omelette if you weren't hungry?

Taylor: I was, but now my tummy hurts.

Keith: Again?! Girl, you better eat some breakfast.

Taylor: Maybe I'm full.

Keith: Eat half of it, and you could watch a little MTV, or eat none of it and go to school hungry. It's your choice.

Eddie: Oh, that's good. Bribe her.

Keith: Did I ask for your input?

Eddie: I gotta go.

Keith: Go!

Eddie: Your car is blocking me in--

KEITH takes his keys and throws them at EDDIE.

Eddie: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Keith: (pulls EDDIE aside) What the fuck is wrong with me?

Eddie: Yeah!

Keith: (yelling) I'm taking care of Taylor, I have no idea where her mother is, I haven't had a full night's sleep in two months since I shot and killed that man, and I'm sick of you giving me shit!

Eddie: Oh, yeah?! And I'm sick and tired of you taking it all out on me! This is way more than I signed on for!

Keith: You know what?, I've got an idea: why don't you find what's yours and take it with you when you leave? That way I'll never have to look at your sorry ass again!

Eddie: I have a better idea: I'll go right now, and if you find any of my stuff, you can shove it up your tight white ass! (storms out)

Keith: (yells after him) Who the hell you think you're talking to? I know you didn't call my ass white!

Taylor: (whining) My tummy hurts.

Scene Three: Fisher Kitchen.

RUTH takes waffles out of the toaster for breakfast. She sits down at the table. CLAIRE stands near the counter.

Ruth: The answer is “No”, I'm sorry.

Claire: Mom, it's not like it's some stranger, it's your sister... And it's not like it's Kabul, it's Topanga-- it's not even an hour from here!

Ruth: You heard what was done to Nate.

Claire: Mom, I don't think anything was done to him. In case you haven't hung out with any 15 year old guys lately, they're like total hornswagglers.

Ruth: It was a much more innocent time.

Claire: What, the 80’s?

Ruth: And your brother was a much more innocent boy. To say nothing of what happened to David. He hiked three miles down the canyon in pitch dark just to get away from those people! He cut his ear on a bramble! The answer is “No”!

Claire: (taking a new strategy) Mom, have you thought at all about scaffolding? (takes a bite out of a waffle and continues to use Plan-lingo against RUTH) When your house is falling apart, you build scaffolding to, like, support you while you are doing the work, and I think a great way to build scaffolding is to revisit old experiences but try them a new way. So I'm going out there after school today and spend the weekend and be back on Sunday.

CLAIRE leaves and RUTH stays there silent.

Scene Four: Room Behind the Curtain.

NATE and DAVID have an intake meeting with JESSICA, JEFFREY's wife, and her RABBI, a young woman named ARI.

Jessica: I haven't even told Justin yet, he doesn't know his father's dead.

Ari: Jewish tradition says we have to bury him tomorrow. You have had Jewish funerals here before, right?

David: Of course.

Ari: We decided not to do this in our temple because of the way Jeffrey died. Jess, if you want I can do this with Jeffrey's mother.

Jessica: (laughs nervously) No, fuck it, I can do it. What do you need to know? (angrily) He killed himself... for no reason... while I was at goddamn Gymboree with Tess --Tess is four-- and while I was with her, my husband, Jeffrey Shapiro, who worked for the third best law firm in L.A. and was three months away from making partner (crying)... he came home on his lunch break and he hung himself with his pants around his ankles in our goddamn sunroom. There's your fucking eulogy! Can you say that in Hebrew?

David: So you'll be conducting the service, Rabbi?

Ari: Mm-hmm.

Scene Five: Japanese Restaurant.

BRENDA is having lunch with MARGARET.

Margaret: I love my new place! You have to come see it. It's a condo, but it's like a hotel too-- it's got a concierge and a bidet.

The waitress brings sake to the table. Brenda pours some for her mother and herself into the small cups.

Margaret: (to the waitress) Oh, miss, get me one of those jumbo beers on the side as well.

Brenda: I'll share it with her.

Margaret: Get your own.

Brenda: (to the waitress) Make it two, thanks.

The waitress leaves.

Margaret: (lifting her cup) To living alone, finally!

Brenda: (lifting her cup) To bidets!

They drink.

Margaret: And to starting over, with us, sweetheart. I think I was under much much more emotional pressure than I ever realized, and I'm actually so sorry for those awful things I said to you!

Brenda: Well, thank you.

Margaret: Aren't you going to say you are sorry for hitting me?

Brenda: Yes, that was insane of me, but...

Margaret: No "buts", Brenda. Just be sorry. I know it was probably my fault, but I don't want to know why.

BRENDA swallows, annoyed.

Brenda: Okay.

Margaret: Alright. So now the headline: that whore has moved into the house with your father!

Brenda: Dad's seeing a whore?

Margaret: The whore of Tranquility Spa, Brenda. Has your father said anything to you about her? I mean, what's in it for her, money? I know she's not in it for sex. God knows your father's not what he used to be, not after three years of Paxil.

Brenda: (annoyed) Okay, that'll be fine, Mom.

Margaret: All righty then, let's talk about you...

Brenda: You sure you want to lose the focus just yet?

Margaret: (laughs) Come on now... what's up in your world?

Brenda: Nate and I are getting married.

Margaret: (suddenly bursts into outrageous laughter) Oh, Brenda, oh, honey, is he smart enough for you? Does he have what it takes, up here? (points to her head)

Brenda: (very annoyed) Like you? Like me? No, Mom, he's not like us. He doesn't think so hard he wants to put a staple gun to his forehead.

Margaeret: Oh, I get it: he's uncomplicated. Well, I've been with a man or three like that. But Bern, Bern always had me, because I knew he was much smarter than I am. That's why it's still so hot with us, all these years later.

Brenda: And we're back...

Margaret: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So how did he propose?

Brenda: Oh, I asked him.

Margaret: (laughs out loud again) You didn't!

Brenda: (pissed off) Yeah, I know it's really funny. It's almost as funny as you trying to build a life on your own.

She imitates her mother's loud laughter. MARGARET joins in too, which makes BRENDA laugh even harder, for real.

Scene Six: Prep Room / Keith's Squad Car.

JEFF's body is laid out on the table. RICO, NATE and DAVID are in the room.

Nate: I just don't see how he could kill himself when he's got three kids.

Rico: I don't think he meant to.

Nate: He hung himself!

Rico: Yeah, but I talked to the Quincy, down at the morgue, and he says that the cops said there was a porno playing in the VCR, and they found a bottle of Astroglide.

Nate: What's Astroglide?

David: It's lube. Lubrication. For sex.

Nate: (very loudly and exaggerated) Thank you, David.

David: No problemo.

Nate: Now, wait a minute... I know about this! He was doing autoerotic asphyxiation, right, like the guy in that band?

Rico: Yeah, yeah, you got it. See, you cut off the air supply and that heightens the stimulation in the ensuing orgasm, and here was the giveaway: they found a lemon wedge on the floor!

Nate: A lemon wedge?

Rico: You keep the lemon in your mouth, and at the moment of climax you... (demonstrates biting down on air) bite down on it to wake you up, so you don't die, see? The lemon was lying on the floor untouched.

DAVID's cell phone rings.

David: (answering the phone) David Fisher.

Keith: (standing near his squad car) Hey, David. I'm calling to let you know that Eddie and I broke up.

David: Keith, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

Keith: Yeah, I broke it off with him.

David: Oh, well.

Keith: Yeah.

David: (not knowing what to say) All right then. (beat)

Keith: Okay. (beat)

David: Oh. Thank you for telling me, I'm going to go now.

He hangs up, a look of confusion on his face.

Scene Seven: Brenda's Living Room.

BRENDA fills up a pipe with pot for herself and MELISSA.

Brenda: So there's this part in my book where the main character meets a high class hooker.

Melissa: Is this fiction or nonfiction?

Brenda: It's still kind of working itself out. There's definitely someone based on you...

Melissa: (smiles) Oh!

Brenda: Well, part of her is you.

Melissa: Excellent! As long as she doesn't get raped and murdered to pay for her sins. I'm so sick of that tired old story.

Brenda: Oh, no, she's way beyond conventional morality.

She lights up the pipe and inhales.

Melissa: Oh, I can't wait to read it.

Brenda: (just comes out with it) I jerked off a client the other day. (exhales)

Melissa: (not sure what to say, very surprised) Oh. I didn't know you did release.

MELISSA inhales.

Brenda: No, I don't. I mean, he didn't ask me to. Okay, okay, so, I'm sure you can imagine, you know, sometimes the guy gets a hard-on. Normally I just ignore it.

Melissa: So what, was this guy just exceptionally hot?

Brenda: No, not even. It was, like, okay, so I'm giving this guy a massage and he flips over--there's this hard-on. It was kinda huge! Like you would never guess by looking at the guy, and I could tell that he wanted me to touch it, and I thought, well, that it would be crossing a line... (laughs) and then I did. I crossed a line. I crossed a line!

They both laugh.

Brenda: I mean what is that? Am I trying to be you or something?

Melissa: I dunno. How'd you feel afterwards?

Brenda: I was weirdly kind of inspired. I wrote this really cool chapter about it.

Melissa: As long as it's all for your art.

Brenda: (not incredibly convincing, even to herself) Yeah.

Scene Eight: Sarah's House, exterior.

CLAIRE drives her lime-green hearse down SARAH's long driveway. She gets out, and looks around at all of the beautiful nature around her: trees, fresh air, etc. SARAH goes outside to the porch to water her plants.

Claire: (waving) Aunt Sarah, hi!

Sarah: (clearly surprised to see her) Baby! Is everything okay?

Claire: Yeah.

Sarah: (a little taken aback) Oh, I thought we said a-a "probably-maybe" about next weekend, but this weekend is fine, it's just fine! Oh!

She runs up to CLAIRE and hugs her.

Claire: I thought it was this weekend. I'm totally cool to go home and come back whenever.

Sarah: No, you're here, and you're mine. I have to believe the Universe sent you. It's our annual "Howl" weekend. (laughs)

Claire: Alan Ginsburg "Howl"?

Sarah: (very excited) Yes! So you're down! Oh! Wonderful. He was a dear, dear friend. We once shared a flat in Berlin... until I got fed up with the parade of Aryan starfucker boys. Anyway, I'm going to summon his energy this weekend. (CLAIRE laughs) I'm expecting some visitors-- (leads CLAIRE to the house) a wonderful poet named Basil, and the painter Fionna Kleinschmidt, have you heard of her?

Claire: Um...

Sarah: And a couple of freaks and some nasty hippies from my druggie days. It's going to be a riot!

Claire: (a little uncomfortable) Are you sure you don't want me to come back some other time?

Sarah: I wouldn't hear of it! Let me show you to your sleeping nook. (re: CLAIRE's bag) I love that bag!

CLAIRE smiles.

Scene Nine: Fisher Basement / Keith’s Squad Car.

DAVID is in the basement hallway, talking on the cell phone to KEITH, who is sitting in his squad car, eating burgers with his partner.

David: (annoyed) Why did you do that to me?

Keith: Do what?

David: That! Just calling me and telling me that!

Keith's Partner: Is that Eddie?

Keith: (to PARTNER, whispers) David.

Ruth: (yelling from the top of stairs) David!

David: (to KEITH) Hold on a second. (calling to RUTH) Mom, I'm on the phone.

Ruth: Are you going to have supper tonight? I'm making pork chops.

David: No, Mom, I won't be having dinner with you.

RUTH leaves from the top of the stairs.

David: (to KEITH) Sorry. What do you want?

Keith: You called me!

David: Oh, right, I was calling to find out why you called me to tell me you guys broke up.

Keith: (innocently) You're my friend. I thought you might like to know when something big happens in my life.

David: (angrily) Oh, I'm your friend? A month ago you didn't think we should see each other anymore!

Keith: Yeah, well, things change.

David: Just what exactly is your agenda?

Keith: I don't have an agenda, David, okay?

Keith's Partner: (mouth full of burger) Yeah, right!

KEITH turns over and hushes him.

David: (didn't hear the PARTNER) Wonderful.

Keith: Great.

David: Yeah, well, thank you for sharing.

Keith: Yeah. (hangs up; to his partner, who is smiling, knowingly) Shut up... just keep it shut!

Keith's Partner: (laughs, innocently) I was just eating...

Scene Ten: Brenda's Kitchen, evening.

BRENDA and MELISSA are eating pita and hummus.

Melissa: Yeah, I spent most of the 90's thinking that stripping was goddess work, but I've come around to my original position, which is that it's just plain cheap.

Brenda: I've always been astonished at some of that pole work. I once saw this woman-- she could hang upside down from 20 feet in the air. She looked like an inverted Jesus!

Melissa: It's the PVC boots-- they make your legs stick to the metal.

Brenda: No way! (MELISSA nods; BRENDA laughs) I would totally take my clothes off on stage at least once if I didn't harbor a vague feeling of hatred about my body.

Melissa: You're crazy! You have a beautiful body!

Brenda: Thank you.

They hear NATE unlocking the front door.

Brenda: Oh, that's Nate. Listen, the whole prostitute thing... he wouldn't be into it.

Melissa: (shrugs it off) Whatever.

NATE enters.

Brenda: Hey!

Nate: Hi! (kisses her on the head) Oh, God... (reaches in front of MELISSA to get some food) Where'd you get the hummus? (to MELISSA) Oh, sorry, incredibly rude and hungry...

Brenda: This is Nate, my fiancee.

Melissa: Hey!

Nate: Hey!

Brenda: This is my friend, Melissa.

Nate: Cool. Where'd you guys meet?

Brenda: (quickly) Melissa's a client of mine.

Nate: Yeah? So does Brenda have all your auras aligned?

Brenda: (correcting NATE) Chakras. (to MELISSA) Did you note the tone of mocking?

Melissa: (smiling) Mm-hmm.

Nate: Hey, have you guys ever heard of autoerotic asphyxiation?

Brenda: (surprised by the coincidence of the conversation) Cutting off your air supply so you can come harder? Sure.

Melissa: Yeah, there's a name for it in the fetish community. It's called: “breath play”...  (NATE looks at her oddly, like, "Why would you know this?" BRENDA looks at her, worried that she blew her "cover") I read a thing...

Nate: We have this guy who died of it, and it's weird because it's definitely suicide, but is it accidental suicide or just plain old suicide? Because he was indulging in something he knew could kill him... but, uh, even if it was accidental it's still sort of on purpose, right?

Melissa: What do you mean: “this guy we have”?

Brenda: Nate's an undertaker.

Nate: (correcting BRENDA) Funeral director. (to MELISSA) Did you note the tone of mock on that?

Melissa: Okay, please don't tell me you're one of those couples that likes to bicker in front of the company until it gets uncomfortable and I have to leave and you guys fuck?

Brenda and Nate: (ad lib, obviously busted) No, no, no, no, not us, not us...

Scene Eleven: David's Bedroom / Keith's Living Room, nighttime.

DAVID lies in bed, eating a light dinner and reading a book. His cell phone rings and he answers it, but not before looking at the display to see that it's KEITH. He smiles.

David: (tries to sound annoyed) Hi.

Keith: Okay, you want to know my agenda? My agenda is to take you to dinner tomorrow night.

David: (playing innocent, restraining his happiness) Oh. (pause)

Keith: You there?

David: (still playing hard-to-get) Well, if I say yes, what am I agreeing to?

Keith: You and me having dinner, maybe a little conversation, that's all.

David: Dinner, huh? Well, sure, we could make a plan, but it seems a little soon after--

Keith: Oh, would you just shut up and say “Yes”?

David: Yes. (KEITH smiles and laughs quietly) Yes, I would like to have dinner with you tomorrow night, Keith.

Scene Twelve: Fisher Kitchen.

RUTH stands at the stove, making a full dinner of pork chops and potatoes-- more than she could possibly eat by herself. She takes one pork chop out and places it on a plate for herself, and then helps herself to a small portion of each, perfectly aligned on the plate. A few minutes later, she sits at the table by herself and eats, lonely and sad. The camera angle stresses how empty the house is, and how alone in the world Ruth feels.

The screen fades to white.

Act Two

Scene One: Sarah's House, next morning.

CLAIRE lies in her sleeping nook, which is surrounded by windows. The early morning sun shines on her. She is soon awakened by the sound of car doors slamming. SARAH's guests seem to have arrived, and what an odd bunch they are! They all look very artsy and hippie-ish. CLAIRE goes into the front room to meet them. One, a gray-haired artist named BASIL comes in carrying a large, abstract painting. A woman, FIONA, walks in, leading a dog with a white cone around his head, so he won't lick his ears. The other guest is only known as the GOURD WOMAN.

Basil: Hey, Sarah, how you doing, baby?

Sarah: Good.

Fiona: (re: to the dog) Oh, be careful, Snoopy has an ear infection.

Sarah: Oh, Snoopy!

Gourd Woman: I brought tomatos from my garden.

Fiona: Oh, yeah but I'm making the sauce, right? Oh, oh, do you have fresh pasta or do I make some up?

Basil: The Napa contingent can't make it. Fernando's doing community service, again.

Gourd Woman: (to CLAIRE) Who are you?

Claire: Hi.

Sarah: Oh, this is Claire, Ruth's daughter.

CLAIRE smiles.

Fiona: I didn't know Ruth had a daughter!

Gourd Woman: Well, if I remember correctly, you certainly knew she had a son!

They all laugh. FIONA puts her hand to her mouth, demurely.

Fiona: (clearly doesn't like RUTH) How is... Ruth?

Basil: How is Nathaniel?

Claire: Um, Ruth's-- my mom's great... Uh, my Dad is not so great. He's... dead.

There is a silence. They all obviously liked him.

Basil: Oh, shame. Helluva guy, your dad.

Fiona: So funny, so fucking wicked!

Basil: I can still see him sitting here at this counter, hunched over his little rolling machine! He used a rolling machine!

They all laugh, as CLAIRE stands there, weirded out beyond belief. This is a side of her dad she never knew before, that NATE discovered in the first season's "The Room."

Scene Two: Rico's Living Room.

RICO's house is still being renovated. There are plastic sheets and signs of construction work everywhere. RICO is heading out, as RAMON continues to work. VANESSA stands nearby in her flimsy nightgown.

Rico: Hey, so, uh, I'm gonna have my cell phone on, in case you guys need to call me or anything.

Vanessa: Okay, baby, have a good one. (to RAMON) You want another cup of coffee?

Ramon: If you make it, I'll drink it.

Rico: (to RAMON) Hey, be really careful when you're taking down this plastic 'cause of Julio's allergies, man. There's tons of dust all through here.

Ramon: Okay, bro, I got it.

Vanessa: We know, honey. (to RAMON, giving him a cup of coffee) Here, I'm going to make some breakfast. Are you hungry?

Ramon: Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

Rico: Hey, I moved your circular saw to the porch.

Ramon: I know, man, I got it. It's cool.

Rico: (to VANESSA, whispering) Honey, listen, if it gets too loud in here or anything, you can take the kids to the park. You don't have to stay here.

Vanessa: Okay, baby, I got it. Have a good day.

Rico: Okay.

Vanessa: Okay. (kisses him goodbye) Julio, turn that TV down.

She goes over to RAMON and watches him work. RICO stands at the door, clearly jealous, and perhaps suspicious of VANESSA and RAMON. He tries to shrug it off and leaves.

Scene Three: Nikolai's Flower Shop.

RUTH, NIKOLAI and ROBBIE are all there working. RUTH is spraying and cleaning with Windex.

Ruth: There's a spray cleaner that's much more earth-friendly. Maybe I'll order it.

Nikolai: (ignoring her, looking at the bills) Oh, God damn it!

Ruth: Or we could keep using this--

Nikolai: I don't talking to you!

Robbie: Are you mad at us? Why the grumps, Mr. Cranky Pants?

Nikolai: Shush!

Robbie: Someone's in a real snoot!

Ruth: I don't think he's feeling well.

Nikolai: I feeling fine! I can't come to your house for dinner tonight. I have other obligation.

Ruth: (truly disappointed) We planned this three days ago. I bought aubergines!

Nikolai: I can't, I can't, I can't. Stop with all the question, okay? I can't! (storms off)

Ruth: I'm not asking you any questions! I haven't asked you any questions!

Robbie: (to RUTH) So... tell, tell, tell-- what do you do with aubergines?

Ruth: A Greek thing-- it's like a--

She has a flashback of sitting in the kitchen, eating alone.

Ruth: It's like a lasagna. Robbie, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?

Robbie: Nothing would please me more, muffin.

He gives her a flower and she smiles.

Scene Four: Fisher Front Room.

NATE stands by the door. Many mourners are already sitting in the Viewing Room, although many are still arriving in the front hall. NATE is wearing a yarmulke. DAVID steps out of the slumber room, also wearing a yarmulke, and goes over to NATE.

David: Star sighting! I think I just saw that Jewish "Friend" in there.

Nate: What, Jennifer Aniston?

David: The guy.

Nate: Ross?

David: Right. I'll be back in a couple hours.

Nate: Hey, did you forget to shave?

David: Yeah, I was running late--

Nate: Oh, really?

David: Yes and I'll thank you not to discuss my facial hair any further.

Nate: Come here, let me check it out. Come on!

David reluctantly thrusts out his chin.

Nate: What time's your date?

David: Who said I have a date? (pauses) Tonight. Dinner.

Nate: Eh, it's a little soon-- the whole oops-I-didn't-know-I-was-sexy stubble-look will peak at around noon tomorrow. Believe me, I've perfected the art. Can you make it drinks after dinner? That will give you another couple hours.

David: (uncomfortable) I can't discuss this right now. I'm going out.

Nate: Clothes shopping?

David: (busted) No!

Nate: Stay out of "Structure"!

DAVE leaves quickly and RICO enters from the basement.

Rico: Augusto's got a little cold, so I'm gonna head home and give Vanessa a little break.

Nate: Okay, that's cool. I'll be right here, then.

Rico: Okay.

ARI enters and walks to the slumber room. As she passes NATE, she smiles. As she walks away, NATE's gaze follows her, intrigued.

Scene Five: Slumber Room.

ARI stands near the podium, with a Magen David (Jewish star) on the front. A female cantor sings a prayer of mourning. In the front row, JESSICA, dressed in black, holds her daughter, TESS.

NATE looks up again and sees BRENDA standing in JESSICA's place and clothes, holding the baby. Her eyes are filled with tears, presumably mourning NATE.

Ari: (approaching the podium, when the cantor has finished) You may be seated. (everybody sits) We are here today to mourn the loss of Jeffrey Marc Shapiro. The Talmud says: "Better is one day in this life than all eternity in the world to come."

Scene Six: Sarah's Backyard.

BASIL reads one of his poems as another party guest bangs rhythmically on drums. Outside, surrounding BASIL, all the guests (and there are a lot of them now) sit around at picnic tables, with a feast laid out before them. CLAIRE watches the bizzare proceedings from SARAH's front deck.

Basil: "And if they ask, you answer,/ Damn high-walled towers of right and left/ Coast to coast, now, here upon a time where leaf shines shimmers, toast to toke/ Fear forever nevermore." (finishes reading) And there you have it, the crap of the moment!

Everyone claps.

Fionna: It's not crap!

Sarah: Look who just arrived!

Two more of SARAH's hippie friends arrive. A couple and their teenage son, TOBY, who is around CLAIRE's age. SARAH goes over to hug TOBY's mother, JILL.

Female Guest: Hi, Jill!

Jill: Hey, magic mushrooms, special delivery!

Gourd Woman: Put them in the sauce!

Fiona: No, no no, saute them first, you guys saute them first. Hey, do you have any of that THC butter in the freezer from last year?

TOBY looks up at CLAIRE as one of his mom's friends hugs him. She looks back at him.

Scene Seven: Rico's House.

RICO opens the front door and comes in to hear the distinct sound of two people fucking. RICO is convinced that it is RAMON and VANESSA, and that his worst fears have been confirmed. From behind the plastic, he can see the form of RAMON thrusting. He angrily walks over to the tarp and pulls it back...

Rico: (yells) Hey!

...to reveal RAMON, with his pants down around his legs, fucking his assistant in the ass. RAMON and the guy look up at RICO, and instantly break apart and start pulling up their clothes. RICO stands there, disbelieving and livid. RAMON had always been his role model.

Rico: Hey... what the fuck?!

Ramon: Aw, fuck!

Rico: What the fuck? What the fuck is going on in here?

Ramon: (to his buddy) Just get out of here, man, just give me a sec.

Rico: Get out of here?! This is my fucking house, you fucking homo!

Ramon: It's nothing, just chill, Rico, damn!

Rico: Are you out of your fucking mind?! My kids could have seen that! Vanessa! Vanessa!

Ramon: Hey, she took the kids to the park, man, chill.

Rico: Are you fucking crazy? Are you out of your fucking homo mind? (to RAMON's buddy) Get the fuck out of here!

He does.

Rico: What the fuck is wrong with you, Ramon? (pushes him hard) Don't you have anything to fucking say?

Ramon: Nah, I'm just going to get out of here until you calm the hell down, okay, guy? Damn.

He leaves.

Rico: What the fuck? What the fucking fuck?!

Scene Eight: Slumber Room, after the service.

The mourners are leaving and NATE walks up to ARI.

Nate: Um, Rabbi?

Ari: Call me Ari.

Nate: I need to ask you a few questions. Well, um, as a funeral director, I want to ask you a few questions about death from a Jewish point of view.

Ari: Sure, although I should warn you: Jews tend to answer questions with more questions. (he laughs nervously) I'll give you my card.

Nate: Oh, I mean now.

Rabbi: Oh-- we're going straight to the cemetery. You could drive with me.

Nate: Okay.

He nods and smiles. She does too.

Scene Nine: Margaret's Condo.

The doorbell rings and MARGARET goes to answer it.

Margaret: I'm coming!

She opens the door. It's BRENDA, holding a small potted cactus.

Margaret: Ah!

Brenda: Mother.

Margaret: Baby!

They kiss and BRENDA gives her the plant.

Brenda: (rife with implications) Oh, I got this for you. It doesn't need watering or caring about in any way.

Scene Ten: Margaret's Condo, a little later.

MARGARET and BRENDA sit on the couch.

Margaret: So, Brenda, I had this vision of your wedding at the Hollyhock house-- they're wonderful as long as you bring in your own caterer... LouLou Smigel's daughter had her wedding there.

Brenda: Well, actually I was thinking of somewhere more beautiful and natural.

Margaret: (reminiscing) Oh, God!

Brenda: What?

Margaret: Well, you know your father and I got married on the beach, and we ran in the surf afterwards.

Brenda: Yeah, I know. You went barefoot, he wore clogs.

Margaret: (starts crying) Brenda, I think you're going to have to leave. I've just got so much coming up right now, and I need to go in my room and sob for an hour.

Brenda: (really trying) Look, I-I could stay. I'll massage your shoulders.

Margaret: No, no, that, uh-- It doesn't help me right now that you're here.

Brenda: You're sure I couldn't make you a cup of tea or something?

Margaret: I'm sure. And Brenda, please don't tell your father that you saw me cry.

Brenda: Oh, Mom, come on, let me help.

Margaret: (very harshly) I'm not Billy! If you want to help me just leave.

Brenda: (completely shocked that her mother actually just said that) Okay.

She leaves, confused and a little hurt.

Scene Ten: Cemetary.

NATE and ARI are talking, leaning against a car.

Nate: Every time I get a headache I'm thinking this could be it.

Ari: You must be really scared.

Nate: Yeah, I'm going to die.

Rabbi: Yeah, me too.

Nate: (concerned) Really, what do you have?

Rabbi: A body.

He laughs gently. NATE's cell phone rings. He picks it up and looks at the caller ID. It's BRENDA. He regards the phone for a moment but doesn't answer it. He places it back in his pocket.

Nate: Okay, yeah, we're all going to die and, uh, whatever, maybe I'm going to die before everyone else, maybe not. So what's the Jewish answer to what I'm supposed to do now?

Ari: I don't know what the Jewish answer is. I know what I try to do-- I try to live my life every day in a way that honors God.

Nate: Well, I don't even know if I believe in God.

Ari: Maybe it's time to find him.

Nate: Maybe God's a woman.

Ari: (warmly) Maybe. (pause, looks up) There he is now.

NATE looks up, confused.

Ari: (clarifying) Jeffrey Shapiro.

Nate: Ah.

The hearse pulls up.

Nate: I'll wait here by the car.

Ari: Come and watch him be buried. Jeffrey can't repay you, so it's considered a great, great mitzvah-- (explaining) kindness. Love, for its own sake. Some people call that God.

Scene Eleven: Fisher Dining Room, nighttime.

RUTH and ROBBIE are eating dinner. ROBBIE continues talking and talking, spouting endless "Plan" rhetoric, and RUTH is slowly being driven crazy. As he sits there talking and talking and, oh, yes, talking, we hear RUTH's inner dialogue.

Robbie: What I'm saying is, yes, definitely, forgive your mother and father. I mean, we've all heard that before, but what's become clear is that my family of origin never really lived in a house! They-- they lived in this tent city psychologically, so it's no wonder that my own house never even felt remotely like it was built on solid ground--

Ruth: Shut up! Shut the mouth!

Robbie: It was built on this quicksand of emotional incest, if there is such a thing...

Ruth: Shutting it, now. Shutting it and stopping it!

Robbie: Of course there is such a thing, but "The Plan" would call that "old blueprinting"...

Ruth: (now totally incensed) If you say another word, I will stab you in the heart with a fork!

Robbie: ...so that's about the size of it...

Ruth: If there is a God in heaven, He will surely shut your mouth!

Robbie: ...you never stop renovating.

ROBBIE takes a brief pause and RUTH seizes the opportunity to say something before he can start up again.

Ruth: Robbie, I have to tell you something now. I do believe I've learned everything I needed to learn from "The Plan", and I no longer feel the urge to speak in building metaphors, or talk about myself or my feelings in this way any longer.

Robbie: (stunned silent) Oh.

They continue their meal in blissful silence.

Scene Twelve: Restaurant.

DAVID sits by himself at a table for two. There is already a glass of wine in front of him. He is impatient and annoyed, and checks his watch wondering where KEITH is. Then his cell phone rings and he practically jumps on it when he sees that it's KEITH on the caller ID.

David: (angry) Okay, I don't know what kind of power trip you're on, but it seems kind of cruel to be honest. (pauses a second, and listens to KEITH; suddenly, very compassionate and concerned) Oh... Oh, God, Keith, you poor thing!

Scene Thirteen: Pediatric Ward, Hospital.

KEITH walks up to the nurses' station. He's been there a while.

Keith: Do you mind just checking on her one more time?

Nurse: Sure.

David: (enters, goes up to KEITH) Hi.

Keith: Hey...

David: How is she?

Keith: She's in surgery right now. I guess her appendix was huge, but they-- they-- they got it before it burst and she's going to be fine. I'm just waiting. It's been an hour and a half. (angry at himself) She kept telling me her stomach was hurting, and I thought it was some kind of game.

David: You can't be perfect all the time, Keith.

Keith: That's what life's about-- striving for perfection.

David: And when that fails, accepting ourselves for being imperfect.

Keith: Not in my book.

David: God, you are so self-righteous sometimes!

Keith: (lashing out) Yeah, and you are a doormat.

David: Do I really come off as being a doormat?

A male doctor approaches, interrupting their argument.

Keith: How is she?

Doctor: Great. It went very smoothly. She's in recovery.

Keith: Good... when can I see her?

Doctor: You can wait in her room. When she comes out of her anesthesia, she might be a little weepy. Don't let it concern you.

Keith: Thank you.

The doctor leaves. KEITH strokes DAVID's arm.

Keith: Thank you.

DAVID smiles.

Scene Fourteen: Sarah's Backyard.

Now that it's nighttime, the festivities have really kicked into gear. The aging hippies are all dancing around a large bonfire. Two men play, respectively, a flute and a drum. The women dance around with scarfs and beads. The GOURD WOMAN is topless, her breasts flopping about, shaking a gourd in each hand, and screeching with elation. CLAIRE sits, watching the proceedings from a safe distance. TOBY sits beside her.

Claire: (re: the GOURD WOMAN) Oh, God, don't let her come over here!

Toby: No, no, no, it's too late.

Gourd Woman: (approaching them, hands a gourd to each) Beat these gourds! Beat these gourds! No spectators!

They each do so, very quietly. The GOURD WOMAN dances back into the fray.

Gourd Woman: Howl!

CLAIRE and TOBY sneak off.

Scene Fifteen: Tree House on Sarah's Property.

CLAIRE and TOBY climb into the tree house.

Claire: Oh, my God, is there a lock on this thing?

Toby: They use this place as a meditation hut, but it's been my safe-house for more times than I care to remember.

Claire: What fucking freaks!

They sit down close to each other.

Toby: Yeah, at least two of them aren't your parents. I'm their designated driver, every year.

Claire: Sorry!

Toby: It's better than getting a call from the sheriff's office saying that your parents are laying in the bottom of Topanga Canyon and would I like a ride in the helicopter?

They look at each other for a brief moment, he strokes her cheek... and they start kissing.

Claire: (breaking away, laughing) We shouldn't be doing this.

Toby: Why not?

Claire: Because. You know, like, people are having like end-of-the-world sex and just I didn't bring any condoms and...

Toby: Like I would even, anyway.

Claire: Yeah, right.

Toby: No, no, I'm-- I mean, you're quite the fox, I'm happy to report, but like I would never just hook up with someone I just met, like ever.

Claire: Seriously?

Toby: Seriously.

Claire: I get it. You're just trying to let me get my guard down and then all of a sudden we're like hooking up.

Toby: Wrong. I'm 19, okay, Claire? I've had the major life experience to know it just kind of sucks to enter the body of another human being you're not in love with.

Claire: Okay, what are you, like straight-edge or all Jesus-y or just gay?

Toby: (laughs) None of those things, okay? Forget it. Just lay down here with me. I'm not gonna have sex with you... that's all you have to know.

Claire: Whatever. Who said I even wanted you to?

She lays down beside him.

Scene Sixteen: Taylor's Hospital Room.

TAYLOR lies in bed. KEITH sits in the chair nearby.

Keith: I promise you, you're gonna be fine. This is all going to be over soon and we'll have you back at home.

Taylor: I'm sorry I got sick.

Keith: Baby, it's not your fault. You kept trying to tell me. I-- I just wasn't paying attention to you. In the future we need to have a code word, okay?

Taylor: Okay.

Keith: Some secret word you can use to let me know the pain is real and not just playing?

Taylor: But it was always real.

Keith: I know, baby. I'm sorry.

Scene Seventeen: Shapiro Home.

NATE and ARI are attending the SHAPIROS' house, where the family is sitting shiva. One of JEFF's clients, a stand-up comic, entertains the group. NATE and ARI stand a little away from the group.

Comic: I don't know what you guys are depressed about... I haven't gotten laid since September 11th...

Everyone laughs.

Comic: (continuing) ...1985.

They laugh even harder.

Comic: You laughed at the wrong part. I'm just telling you, what a crowd! You drinking Nyquil, ladies? Sit up! Come on! (to the group) Blonde Jews, everybody! What a crowd! Good to see you back in men's clothes, senator, alright. (points out people in the crowd) Cousin Stu, right out of rehab... Good to see you! The landscaper's here, thank God!

Nate: So what's shiva mean... standup?

Ari: Jeffrey represented a lot of comedians.

Nate: You know, there's one part I haven't told you: I'm engaged.

Ari: Oh. (pause) Well, we couldn't go out anyway. You're not Jewish!

Nate: No, I didn't mean-- (suddenly stops himself, intrigued) You would go out with me?

Ari: No, I just said I wouldn't!

Nate: (teasing) But it crossed your mind!

Ari: (humorously) I said, I would not!

Nate: Well, then, why'd you say it? You've thought about it... come on!

Ari: (surrendering) Maybe. You know?, with your whole illness thing-- I have a bit of a messiah complex-- saving-- the men.

Nate: Ah, yes, messiah complex! Well, you know?, you can save me... if that's what you need to do... you can save me.

Ari: (shifting gears) It's really good that you have someone. If anything is going to save you, that will.

Nate: (unconvinced) Yeah.

Ari: Yeah.

Nate: I haven't told her... about my whole head thing.

Ari: (concerned) How could you not tell your soulmate something like that?

Nate: I don't even know if she's my soulmate.

Ari: Oh, I get it: she's not your soulmate but you're going to marry her because-- (fishing for an answer)

Nate: I don't know what else to do.

Ari: ...you have nothing better to do. That sounds-- good.

Nate: Hey, I don't even know what a soulmate is, do you?

Ari: The person that makes you be the most "you" that you could possibly be. Maybe your soulmate is the person who forces your soul to grow the most. Not all growth feels good.

NATE thinks about what she's saying and smiles.

Scene Eighteen: Brenda's Car.

BRENDA's car is stopped at a red light.

Brenda: (talking to MELISSA's voice mail, on her cell phone) Hey, Melissa, it's Brenda. I've been driving around for hours. You want to have a drink or something?... Call me if you get in tonight, okay? Bye. (hangs up) Whatever.

A man, HOSEP, in a roofing and plumbing truck pulls up next to BRENDA's car. BRENDA looks up at him and he looks back. They stare at each other, erotically.

A little while later, BRENDA has parked her car behind the truck in a parking lot. She is now inside the truck. The driver is taking her, roughly, from behind, grasping her breasts in his hands.

Hosep: Like that?

Brenda: You gonna fuck me?

Hosep: Yeah. I'm gonna fuck you hard! Harder than you ever been fucked in your life!

Brenda: Oh, good!

The guy in the car behind BRENDA’s honks his horn, snapping her out of her fantasy. The light has turned green.

Hosep: What's your name?

BRENDA zooms off.

Scene Nineteen: Shapiro House.

Jessica: (approaching NATE and ARI) Thank you for coming, Mr. Fisher.

Nate: I'm glad to.

ARI hugs JESSICA, who begins to cry.

Jessica: Did he-- did he want to die? Did he want to leave us?

Ari: How could he have wanted that?

Jessica: I don't know. (to NATE) What do you think?

Nate: (choosing his words carefully) I don't think he wanted to die.

Scene Twenty: Brenda's Bedroom.

BRENDA lies on the bed, wearing a black negligee. NATE comes in and starts to undress.

Brenda: Nate, leave your clothes on. I'll get naked. You can go outside and come back as a dangerous intruder.

Nate: (disbelieving) Hmmm.

Brenda: C'mon, I'm serious. It'd be fun. I'll pretend I'm asleep and then you can come in and have your way with me.

Nate: I don't really feel like it, all right?

Brenda: Okay, you don't have to go outside. Just do it from in here.

NATE sighs.

Brenda: (roleplaying) Hey, I've never seen you before. What's your name?

Nate: (not playing along very well) Nate, my name is Nate.

Brenda: That's pretty funny-- my fiancee's name is Nate.

Nate: Sshh...

They begin kissing.

Scene Twenty-One: Brenda's Bedroom, later.

They are having sex. NATE's gentle lovemaking is exactly the opposite of what BRENDA feels like at the moment.

Nate: I love you so much. You're so soft, baby. I love you! I love you, so much!

Brenda: Harder, harder! C'mon.

He keeps thrusting and moaning. He doesn't see her rub her eyes and stare away, thoroughly unhappy.

The screen fades to white.

Act Three

The scene begins in TAYLOR's hospital room. The girl is asleep in the bed, and KEITH is sleeping beside her in the chair, where he's been all night. He wakes up and goes into the hallway, getting his phone out of his pocket to call DAVID. He turns around and is surprised and extremely touched to see DAVID sleeping in the chair in the hallway. KEITH looks at him, knowing what a great guy he is for staying there all night. He shakes his head, smiling.

Scene Two: Sarah's House.

The scene begins in SARAH's living room. Joni Mitchell's "Woodstock" plays in the background. All of the partygoers from the previous night are sleeping, strewn about the living room. The GOURD WOMAN's breasts are still completely exposed. CLAIRE enters, takes off her coat, and, in a show of good will, places it over the woman's breasts. CLAIRE goes to the kitchen, where SARAH is making waffles.

Sarah: Did the music wake you up?

Claire: Oh, no, I've been up for a while. Actually, I took a walk in the canyon.

Sarah: Beautiful, isn't it?

Claire: Oh, my God, it's gorgeous!

Sarah: We're going to have a weekend soon, just you and me, okay? You come back when there's not so much craziness.

Claire: The craziness was totally fine. It was fun, actually.

Sarah: Good.

Claire: I love this song. It's so pretty.

Sarah: You want a waffle before you go?

Claire: Um, no, thanks.

Sarah: Well, then, tell everyone I love them and miss them and want them to get their butts here super soon, okay? Especially that mama of yours!

Claire: Yeah, right, like she would ever.

Sarah: (warmly) You know, I think she hides inside of herself because she's so afraid we'll reject her-- so let's don't, okay? She's had enough heartache for one lifetime.

SARAH goes to the tape player, stops it, and ejects the tape. She gives it to CLAIRE.

Sarah: You can keep it, sweetheart.

Claire: Thanks.

SARAH kisses her on the cheek.

Toby: (entering) As soon as I can figure out which two are my parents I'm just gonna roll 'em up in a rug and throw them in my truck.

Claire: Well, let me know if I can help.

Toby: I think I'll start with some coffee, but gimme your number if you're taking off.

Claire: Seriously? I figured I'd never see you again.

Toby: Well, you were wrong. I'll come into the city.

Claire: Okay, I'll write down my number.

SARAH smiles to herself.

Scene Three: Rico's House.

VANESSA sits at the couch with GRACIELA, RAMON's wife. AUGUSTO sits on VANESSA's lap and JULIO plays on the floor. GRACIELA and VANESSA are looking at pictures of GRACIELA's young son, PEDRO.

Graciela: So you get the 8x10 and the 24 wallet sizes for under 20 bucks.

Vanessa: Pedro is the spitting image of Ramon!

Graciela: Right? And everybody said he looked just like me for the longest time!

RICO enters.

Vanessa: Hey, morning, baby!

Rico: Hey. (reserved) Hey, Graciela.

Graciela: So, Rico, Ramon told me why he's not finishing your house!

Rico: (interested) He did?

Graciela: Yeah, just because he has different taste in tile than you do-- I mean you could have returned what he bought and got something else!

Rico: (beat) Yeah, yeah, I guess I could have.

Vanessa: I know, girl, it sounds crazy to me, too, but you know how men are. Loco with that machismo stuff!

Rico: I guess I just really wanted to do my own house myself, my way.

Graciela: You know how to do construction?

Rico: Yeah, well, you know, I want to learn. You know?, I got some books and--

Graciela: That's cool, but just don't hold a grudge, okay? (to Vanessa) Okay, listen, I gotta go. Ramon is watching the kids, and he's going to kill me!

Vanessa: Okay, girl.

They kiss goodbye on the cheek.

Graciela: See you guys later.

She leaves.

Vanessa: Baby, you're such a weirdo sometimes!

Rico: Whatever.

Scene Four: Fisher Kitchen.

CLAIRE enters, and puts her bag down on the table. RUTH sits at the table, drinking coffee by herself. CLAIRE takes a few things out of the bag-- a book, her purse, the cassette tape.

Claire: Were you going to ask me about my weekend?

Ruth: I wasn't planning on it.

Claire: (a little disappointed) I had fun.

Ruth: I'm glad. (pause) I found some slugs in the garden.

Claire: (not knowing how to respond) Neat. I'm gonna go take a nap.

CLAIRE leaves the room. RUTH glances over at what she left on the table. She picks up the tape, which says "Sarah Songs" on it. SARAH has decorated the label with markers, making floral patterns. RUTH stares at it, interested. She puts the tape in the cassette player.

Joni Mitchell's Voice: "And I dreamed I saw the bombers riding shotgun in the sky,/ And they were turning..."

Amazingly, RUTH starts to, tentatively at first, sing along.

Ruth: "... into butterflies above our nation./ We are stardust./ Billion year old carbon./ We are golden, caught in the devil's bargain/ and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden..."

RUTH does not notice CLAIRE, standing by the stairs, staring at her mother, transfixed. She has never seen this side of her mother before. She watches her with newfound respect.

The screen fades to white.



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