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#109 : La vie est trop courte

Une tragédie réunis Claire et Gabe. Son petit frère a eu un accident avec un revolver qu'il a trouvé sous le lit de sa mère. David et son nouveau petit-ami expérimentent la discotèque. Pour améliorer les compétences commerciales de Nate, Brenda lui propose de faire semblant d'être un client endeuilli et de tester la manière de procéder chez les pompes funèbres du secteur. Ruth va passer le week-end en camping avec Hiram et teste pour la première fois l'Ecstasy sans s'en rendre compte.

Titre VO
Life's Too Short

Titre VF
La vie est trop courte

Photos promo

Gabe et sa mère affrontent la perte d'un être cher

Gabe et sa mère affrontent la perte d'un être cher

L'organisation des funérailles du frère de Gabe

L'organisation des funérailles du frère de Gabe

Un événement tragique a réuni Gabe et Claire

Un événement tragique a réuni Gabe et Claire

 David et son nouveau petit-ami expérimentent un discothèque

David et son nouveau petit-ami expérimentent un discothèque

Plus de détails

Prelude

Scene: Dimas House

GABRIEL is playing a video game in the bedroom he shares with his little brother, ANTHONY, a six-year-old. He is the only one in the room. The doorbell rings. GABRIEL pauses the game and goes to answer the front door. It's ANDY, his friend.

Gabriel: Yo, what's up? You got it?

Andy: No, I didn't get anything. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

They go back to the bedroom, where ANTHONY is now playing.

Gabriel: Anthony, go play in Mom's room.

Anthony: Why?

Gabriel: Because I said so, you little shit! Go! Get up, come on!

Anthony: You suck! (leaves, slamming the door)

Gabriel: That kid's got so much major attitude. 6 years old, he's already a hardass.

ANDY opens up his lunchbox, and takes out rolling papers and pot. Meanwhile, ANTHONY goes into his mother's room to play. We see him looking around the room and in his mother's mirror. Then we see ANDY rolling a joint. Then ANTHONY looking in drawers. Then ANDY and GABRIEL lighting up and inhaling.

Gabriel: Think you can get more of this stuff?

Andy: Mm hmm.

Gabriel: How much?

Andy: How much money do you have?

Gabriel: I'm fuckin' loaded.

We see ANTHONY reaching under his mom's bed, where he finds a gun wrapped in a dish cloth.

Andy: Hey, Bennett and I are going to that record release party tonight, and there's an after-hours in Hollywood.

Gabriel: Oh, dude, I fuckin' hate that shit. Totally bunch of whacked-out faggot tweakers shoving glo-sticks in their eyes.

Andy: It's at Sin-Sin.

Gabriel: Great!: Whacked-out Asian tweakers! Club's weak, dude.

There is a gunshot from the other room. GABRIEL gets up and runs to his mom's room. He looks into the door, in horror.

Gabriel: Anthony! A--Oh, fuck!

Andy: Oh, shit! Oh, fuck!

Gabriel: Fuck!

Andy: I've gotta get out of here! (takes drugs) I'll go get that shit out of here! (leaves)

Gabriel: What? Oh fuck! Anthony...

GABRIEL runs into the bedroom. The screen fades to white.

"ANTHONY CHRISTOPHER FINELLI
NOVEMBER 5, 1994-APRIL 18, 2001"

Act One

Scene One: Basement

DAVID is stitching up a body in the prep room. NATE enters.

Nate: Good morning. (DAVID gives no response.) OK. What are you mad at me about now?

David: Look, I'm busy, alright? My workload is doubled since Federico's gone. You can't expect me to engage you in small talk just to make you feel better. You flunked the licensing test. Did you think that I didn't know the grades were being posted today?

Nate: I didn't!

David: You didn't apply yourself. You think this is something that people do when they can't do anything else, and therefore it can't be that difficult.

Nate: OK, I feel pretty bad right now. Is it really important to make me feel worse?

David: I don't care what you feel.

Nate: Oh, bullshit! You like it when I feel bad because misery loves company. (re: the body) How did he die?

David: Heart attack. Fell down a flight of stairs. Dead when he hit the bottom.

Nate: His nose supposed to look like that?

David: Of course not. I have to finish embalming him before I can start on anything cosmetic.

The doorbell rings.

Nate: I can deal with whoever it is.

David: Unless it's a walk-in.

Nate: You know, I just want to point out that you are choosing to be the victim here. I can handle an in-take and you know it.

Scene Two: Slumber Room/Front Hall

A square dancing lesson is just ending.

Kurt: Ladies, take a change. Good. And walk to the middle and back. Alright. Very good, very good, ladies and gentlemen. So we'll see you all the same time next week, OK? Be safe getting home.

NATE and DAVID enter.

Nate: Morning, folks.

David: Hi.

Kurt: Hi.

DAVID and NATE walk by.

David: Goddamn it, why doesn't anyone answer the door? Where is Mom?

Nate: OK, if you haven't slept with that guy yet, would you start? Cause I think it would do you a world of good.

Scene Three: Ruth's Bedroom

RUTH ties a scarf around her neck, looking into her mirror. Suddenly, she sees NATHANIEL, SR., in the mirror, sitting on the bed behind her. RUTH jumps.

Ruth: Don't do that!

HIRAM is sitting on the bed. RUTH still doesn't realize he isn't NATHANIEL, SR.

Hiram: Do what?

Ruth: Watch me like that.

Hiram: I can't help it. You're so beautiful.

Ruth: (realizes it's HIRAM) Oh, for heavens sake!

Hiram: I wanna go camping again.

Ruth: Then go camping.

Hiram: With you.

Ruth: I've got a job now, Hiram. I can't just up and leave whenever I feel like it. Spring's a very busy time of the year.

Hiram: It's our anniversary tomorrow. The first time we went camping was 2 years ago tomorrow.

Ruth: We don't have anniversaries. I never agreed to anniversaries.

Hiram: Just you and me alone in the woods, naked under the stars. Just like it was in the beginning.

Ruth: Tomorrow is such short notice. I can't promise anything, but I'll try.

Scene Four: Room Behind the Curtain

DAVID and NATE are having an in-take meeting with GABRIEL and his mother, VICKIE.

Gabriel: Um--my mom wants to know how quickly we can do this.

David: Uh--well, I'd suggest a viewing in 2 days to allow proper restoration.

Gabriel: Viewing?

David: For friends, family. You can make it as small or as large as you wish.

Vickie: No, I can't see him in a box. I can't. (cries)

David: Alright.

Nate: Ms. Dimas, seeing your son before you, bury him, might help you to let go.

Vickie: No, I don't want to see him.

David: Of course. We'll arrange for a closed casket ceremony. Will 3 days give you enough time?

Gabriel: Yes, that's gonna be fine.

Scene Five: Front Hall

David: (to the Dimases) Uh--Nate will show you to the door.

Gabriel: Thanks.

Kurt: What happened?

David: 6 year-old found a gun and was playing with it.

Kurt: Oh, Jesus.

David: Yeah.

Gabriel: (hands papers to NATE, on his way out) They--uh--they gave me this at the hospital. Some sort of receipt. I don't know if you need it but--

Nate: OK.

As GABRIEL leaves, CLAIRE walks down from the top of the stairs.

Claire: What was he doing here?

Scene Six: Fisher House, exterior

CLAIRE runs out after GABRIEL.

Claire: Gabe!

Gabriel: (to VICKIE) It's OK. (to CLAIRE) Hey.

Claire: My brother just told me. I'm so sorry.

Gabriel: I didn't know where else to go. My grandmother's funeral was here.

Claire: Yeah, of course.

Gabriel: My mom's waiting for me down at the car.

Scene Seven: Kitchen

Nate: I thought you were supposed to encourage people to have a viewing.

David: Well, sometimes people don't want that.

Nate: Sometimes you don't want to work any harder.

David: When faced with the option of not having to restore a 6-year-old child's head that's been blown to bits, yeah. I don't want to do that. Do you? It's not our job to force somebody to do something they're clearly not ready to do because we think it's the right thing, because it will make us feel better.

Scene Eight: Nikolai's Flower Shop

Ruth: Can I help you?

Man: Roses are if you love somebody, right?

Ruth: Roses are the classic choice, but other flowers could achieve the same effect.

Man: What if you then ask her to marry you?

Ruth: Oh, how lovely! Well, roses would be the perfect choice.

Man: But she turned out to be a cheating coward and ran off with some shithead that she met at traffic school. What color would you give a coward?

Ruth: Uh--yellow. Yellow.

Man: Great! 12 dozen yellow roses, sent to this address, please.

Ruth: What would you like the card to say?

Man: "Fuck you, cunt!"

Ruth: I think it would be more personal if you write that.

Scene Nine: Nikolai's Flower Shop, later in the day

Ruth: I have to take the day off tomorrow and Saturday.

Nikolai: Why?

Ruth: A friend. I'm supposed to have plans with a friend and I forgot.

Nikolai: Is it with that man? The one with the funny little car that picks you up?

Ruth: It's an electric car, and it's very good for the environment. (He laughs.) Why are you laughing?

Nikolai: Because you're not. You like this man?

Ruth: Can I have the days off or not?

Nikolai: Take. Go. I don't care. We will miss you. (mimics car horn) Beep. Beep.

Scene Ten: Brenda's House, nighttime

Nate: (enters) Brenda?

Brenda: (calls from other room) Hey, there! I'll be right out! I just got out of the shower. How was work?

Nate: It sucked. Like I figured, I failed that funeral director's test. And there was this in-take meeting this morning, I totally fucked up. I just picked up a dead 6 year-old at the morgue. All in all, it's been a pretty bad day. Goddamn it! Sometimes I feel like I don't have any fuckin' idea what I'm doing. It's like I made like this bullshit decision to go into this business for all the wrong reasons, and now it's too late.

BILLY walks up behind NATE and starts massaging his shoulders. NATE, of course, believes it's BRENDA.

Billy: It's never too late.

Nate: (jumps) Jesus, Billy! (BILLY laughs.) What, do you live here now?

Billy: No, Brenda just gave me a shiatsu. I've been kind of tense lately. So, bad day, huh?

Nate: Yeah.

Billy: Well, I've had my share of those.

Nate: Well, I don't doubt that.

Brenda: (enters) I don't really feel like cooking, so you guys decide what we're having delivered.

Nate glares. He ain't a happy man.

Scene Eleven: Brenda's House, later that night

BRENDA, NATE and BILLY eat Chinese food.

Billy: That shit was all over the news. 6 years old, right? Fuck! Some people should just not be allowed to have kids. (BRENDA nods.)

Nate: She just sat there like a ghost. It was like she'd been erased. I felt so fuckin' helpless.

Brenda: (caresses his hand) Oh, God, that poor woman. (NATE kisses her hand.)

Billy: (looking jealous) In Nigeria, there's this tribe that when a baby dies, they throw the body into the bush because they believe, if buried, the dead infant would offend the earth gods, which bring fertility and food.

Brenda: Hmm.

Billy: And then there's the Chinese that consider the death of a child a "bad death," where the parents and grandparents aren't expected to go to the funeral. Or the Balinese mother who's counseled to remain cheerful after the death of her infant, because grief makes one vulnerable to illness and malevolent demons.

Brenda: Well, that was informative.

Billy: Yeah, well, I thought it'd be good to read up on your boyfriend's line of work. After all, what a man does, that's, uh, who he is. Right, Nate?

Nate: Uh--yeah.

Billy: A man should know the history of his chosen profession if he expects to be anything more than an amateur.

Nate: So I'm an amateur?

Billy: I prefer the term "dilettante."

Nate: And what are you, Billy? Running around with your camera, taking pictures of other peoples' lives...

Brenda: Boys!

Nate: You really think knowing a bunch of arcane National Geographic shit is gonna help me cope with a 6-year-old who shot himself in the head?

Billy: You know, there are plenty of places in the world where a kid dying is pretty common, but we can't deal with it, because a dead child is the greatest failure of a culture that believes it's reversed the order of nature.

Nate: This was an accident. This wasn't nature.

Brenda: Do you know what I find interesting?: if you lose a spouse, you're called a widow or a widower. If you're a child and you lose your parents, then you're an orphan. But what's the word to describe a parent who loses a child? I guess that's just too fucking awful to even have a name.

Scene Twelve: Gay Disco Club

Kurt: I was worried you weren't going to show!

David: No, I just got tied up at work. Believe me, I need this after the day I had.

Kurt: (takes out a pill) This oughtta help.

David: What is it?

Kurt: X. Ecstacy. You ever done it?

David: No. Can't say that I have.

Kurt: You're gonna love it.

KURT puts the pill into his own mouth, then kisses DAVID and slides the pill into his mouth with his tongue.

David: (swallows) Aren't you gonna take one too?

Kurt: I'm already there. Let's dance!

David: I'm not a very good dancer.

Kurt: You will be.

KURT pulls him onto the dance floor.

Scene Thirteen: Gay Disco Club, later that night

KURT and DAVID dance. Later, KURT brings him a bottle of water. DAVID is dancing like a maniac.

Kurt: David, David! Hey, you gotta keep drinking this.

A montage of events occur: DAVID and KURT dancing, making out, dancing, laughing, chugging water, jumping, more dancing, etc.

Act Two

Scene One: David's Bedroom, next morning

DAVID wakes up in his bed and checks the clock. It is 9:05 AM. David looks like shit.

Scene Two: Room Behind the Curtain

NATE and DAVID are having an in-take meeting with a woman named MRS. LAWSON. Unusually, NATE is doing all of the talking. DAVID sits in his chair, silent, with a pained, sickened expression on his face.

Mrs. Lawson: (crying) She was only 63. That's so young! Isn't that young?

Nate: Mrs. Lawson, have you thought about what kind of funeral you'd like for your mother?

Mrs. Lawson: It has to be beautiful. It has to be beautiful.

Nate: Well, we can offer you a wide variety of services, ranging from simple to more formal to anything you might need.

David: Yes, anything at all.

MRS. LAWSON sobs.

Scene Three: School Cafeteria

ANDY is talking to a group of friends.

Andy: It's a good thing I was there, ya know? I mean, Gabe was so wrecked, I was around to trash his weed. (kids laugh) No, seriously, if the police found that shit, it'd be way worse, ya know?

Claire: (walks up) Hey, Andy.

Andy: Hey.

Claire: How's Gabe?

Andy: He's OK, I guess.

Claire: Well, have you talked to him?

Andy: Not really.

Claire: Well, are you gonna see him later?

Andy: I don't know. It's sort of weird over there. The mother's like all freaked.

Claire: Yeah, but what about Gabe?

Andy: Look, Morticia, I'm not interfering. It's too much to get into, ya know?

Claire: I thought you were his friend.

Andy: Why don't you fuck off, bitch, huh? Anyway, if you're so worried, why don't you go fuck him again? Maybe that'll cheer him up.

Claire: Nice. That's nice. Yeah. By the way, Parker told me how one of your testicles is like freakishly small, like a peanut.

CLAIRE leaves. Everyone around ANDY points at him and laughs.

Guy: Nice!

Girl: Is that true?

Andy: (looking nervous) That's not true.

Scene Four: Fisher Kitchen

DAVID drinks a glass of water and takes an aspirin bottle out of a cabinet. Flashback to the club. DAVID and KURT make out. KURT hands him two pills.

Kurt: For later.

DAVID snaps out of it and then reaches into his pocket. He pulls out the two pills.

Ruth: (enters) You have a headache, dear?

David: Yeah. I thought I'd--

Ruth: I'm throwing in a load of laundry, if you need something done. (DAVID quickly sticks the two pills into the bottle of aspirin.) By the way, I'm going camping with Hiram this weekend. I'm leaving this afternoon.

David: Great.

Ruth: I'm doing whites first.

Flashback to KURT's apartment the night before. DAVID rips off KURT's underwear with his teeth. They have sex. KURT is on top.

Kurt: (moans) Oh, fuck, David! David!

RUTH's voice invades his flashback.

Ruth: David! David! David!

DAVID looks at KURT, then horrified at his mother. He snaps out of it.

Ruth: David, are you alright? You look pale.

David: No, I'm fine. It's just a headache. That's all.

He puts the bottle back in the cabinet. The two pills are still in there.

Scene Five: Steps Outside the High School

PARKER and CLAIRE share a cigarette.

Parker: OK, you're in this like total danger zone. Gabe Dimas is a dick. I'm sorry his brother is dead, but don't think that means he's not a dick.

Claire: I just haven't seen him around, so I was worried.

Parker: You hook up with him now, it's gonna be like total emotional rape. Whatever he feels for you is gonna be wrapped up in some guilt/grief/fuckfest. You'd better stay away from that shit. I'm not kidding.

PARKER gets up and leaves. CLAIRE stays and smokes the rest of the cigarette.

Act Three

Scene One: Brenda's Van

Brenda: (drives) So you failed a test. Big whoop! You want to be helpful to the people that walk through your front door, so you have to be one of those people.

Nate: OK--

Brenda: I chose 3 funeral homes from the Yellow Pages at random. I've always felt an uncontrolled sample group provides more reliable data.

Nate: You want us to pretend to be purchasing a funeral?

Brenda: Look up the first address. I think it's in Sherman Oaks. Come on, it'll be fun.

Scene Two: Dimas House

CLAIRE rings the doorbell and knocks. Then she opens the door, which is unlocked.

Claire: Hello? Gabe? Is anybody home? (she sees VICKIE in the living room) Oh, Mrs. Dimas, I'm sorry. The door was open. Um--is Gabe around?

VICKIE looks at her, with no response, and smokes. CLAIRE leaves.

Scene Three: Basement

DAVID works on ANTHONY's body. He stops after a few moments to catch some air.

Scene Four: A Funeral Home

Nate: We could still leave.

Brenda: Why? What are you afraid of?

Nate: Humiliating myself, wasting someone's valuable time...

Brenda: Don't be so left-brained.

The funeral director enters and sits at his desk. BRENDA starts to cry.

Funeral Director #1: I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. Now, how can I help?

Brenda: (cries) It's my parents. They were killed this morning. In an accident.

Funeral Director #1: I'm terribly sorry.

Brenda: It was a--a helicopter, went down, and there was an explosion. Oh, God, I can't do this! It's not right! They were in the prime of their lives. Everybody dies, we all die, everything we ever care about will disappear--SO WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT OF LIVING?!

Funeral Director #1: Uh--can I suggest matching caskets?

Brenda: (immediately stops crying) That's it? That's what you have to offer me in my time of grief? Merchandise. (pulls NATE away) We have nothing to learn here.

Scene Five: Fisher Kitchen

RUTH has all of her camping supplies spread out on the table.

Ruth: Water purifier, rope, bear bell, flashlight, toilet paper and, yes, it's biodegradable, bird caller, binoculars.

Hiram: Ruth, I'm sure you have everything. In fact, I know you have everything. You always do.

Ruth: It wouldn't be much fun to get all the way up there and realize we forgot the matches, now would it?

Hiram: Or the champagne.

Ruth: Hiram, that's just decadent! Was it expensive? We shouldn't waste it.

Hiram: Waste it? It's our anniversary!

CLAIRE enters.

Ruth: Claire, you're home early. Do you remember Hiram? (he waves)

Claire: Hi.

Ruth: How was school?

Claire: I have a headache.

CLAIRE goes to the cabinet, takes out the bottle of aspirin and takes 2 pills with water. Luckilly, they are not the Ecstacy pills.

Ruth: Hiram and I are going camping. Your dinner's in the refrigerator and I'll be back tomorrow.

CLAIRE nods.

Hiram: It's a very beautiful time of the year.

Claire: OK. Well, you two have fun. (leaves)

Hiram: We should probably leave if we want to beat the rush hour traffic. Ruth? Honey, what's wrong?

Claire: My children don't need me anymore.

Scene Six: Another Funeral Home

Funeral Director #2: Let's think of this as a celebration of your uncle's life. Now, the Titan is an excellent choice for a distinguished gentleman. It's solid mahogany, it's hand-finished, burwood and nickel accents. And Grace Field--Grace Field is a lovely place for internment. It's serene, it's pastoral.

Nate: How much?

Funeral Director #2: Well, after you sign the contract, we take care of everything. There's no worry. There's no pain.

Nate: How much?

Funeral Director #2: Comes to just under $20,000.

Nate: (laughs) Uh--(looks at list) You're charging $2000 for the Titan. What is that, like a 300% markup?

Funeral Director #2: I could come down to 10.

Nate: And, uh, Grace Field is in between a power station and a freeway.

Funeral Director #2: There are nicer cemeteries, but they're just a little more expensive.

Nate: No, thanks. We'll try and find somewhere that doesn't just want to swindle us. (NATE leaves.)

Brenda: Nice tie.

Scene Seven: Brenda's Van

Nate: This business is a total racket.

Brenda: What business isn't?

Nate: You know, sometimes I wish I could be this completely selfish asshole who didn't give a shit about anything and I could just work at some mindless job that paid me a fuckload of money.

Brenda: (laughs) No, you don't.

Nate: It'd make my life a lot easier.

Brenda: You don't want your life to be easier.

Scene Eight: Fisher Porch/Front Hall

CLAIRE opens the door. GABRIEL is standing there, holding a brown paper bag.

Claire: Gabe?

Gabriel: Hi. I didn't know if anybody was home.

Claire: Did you ring the bell?

Gabriel: I just came by to drop off this stuff.

Claire: OK.

Gabriel: It's my brother's soccer clothes. I thought that he might like to get buried in them. You think that's OK?

Claire: Yeah, yeah, I think that's really nice.

They go inside.

Gabriel: See my mom?

Claire: Yeah.

Gabriel: It's like a zombie hut. Just sits there. He shouldn't have been by himself. It's my fault. I killed him.

Claire: Gabe, no, it was an accident.

Gabriel: Wouldn't have happened if I had been watching him. My mom can't even find Anthony's dad to tell him what happened. Probably moved. We haven't seen him in like 2 years.

Claire: Oh... that sucks.

Gabriel: Nah, he's a fuckin' drunken dipshit. He used to kick my ass all the time just to prove that he could. -- You know when people would call you those things like "Cemetery Girl" and "Vampira"?

Claire: Yeah.

Gabriel: I never thought that was funny. I--I should go. Would you just, um, make sure your brother gets these?

Claire: Of course. Hey, look, if you need anything, like to talk or something, you can call me.

Gabriel: Alright.

Scene Nine: Campsite in the Woods

HIRAM tries to start a fire.

Ruth: Where do you wanna hang the food?

Hiram: Can't it wait till after dinner?

Ruth: I've already taken out what we're going to eat. I'd rather not risk it. Well, I'm sorry it's inconvenient, but would you prefer we were mauled in our sleep by bears?

Hiram: Ruth, you need to relax.

Scene Ten: Yet Another Funeral Home

Rosemary: (the funeral director) Hello, I'm Rosemary. How can I help you?

Nate: Hi, I need to make arrangements for a funeral.

Rosemary: Alright.

Nate: My wife's in the restroom. She'll be out in a minute.

Rosemary: Fine. Can I ask who the funeral is for?

BRENDA enters with a bandana over her head, covering her hair completely. She walks and speaks weakly, sounding like a cancer patient. NATE looks shocked.

Brenda: It's for me. Bet you don't get too many people shopping for their own funeral.

Rosemary: It happens. Most people who know they're going to die want to have a say. Planning it together with your husband can be a meaningful process for both. Is it cancer?

Brenda: Yeah, it's everywhere. Liver now.

Nate: Brenda--

Brenda: My husband hates me doing this. He wants me to spend this time doing things I've always dreamed of but never gave myself permission to do. (She coughs uncontrollably.) Coughing blood and pissing needles thing kind of gets in the way.

Rosemary: He just wants you to be happy.

Brenda: He just doesn't want me to die.

Nate: (gets up) OK, this is too fucked up, Brenda! I can't do it! I can't! (leaves)

Brenda: He's not ready.

Rosemary: It's hard for him. Probably harder than it is for you.

Scene Eleven: Brenda's Van

Nate: (yells) That was like maybe the most fucked up thing you've ever done to me!

Brenda: Sorry.

Nate: That was like the shit you pulled on those doctors in the Charlotte book just to get a fuckin' rise out of them. What's next? You gonna start barking at me?!

Brenda: I might if you don't stop yelling at me.

Nate: What you did just now was not funny!

Brenda: Well, it wasn't meant to be. You counsel people about death every day, Nate, when death is what you're most afraid of. What's wrong with this picture?

Nate: Well, of course I'm afraid of it. What sane person isn't?

Brenda: I'm not.

Nate: Yeah, well, I said, "What sane person"?

BRENDA starts barking. He smiles and laughs. She does also.

Scene Twelve: Basement

DAVID ties sneakers onto ANTHONY's feet. He looks as if he is about to break into tears.

Scene Thirteen: Basement/Kurt's Apartment

DAVID calls KURT, who is lying on his bed.

Kurt: (answers phone) Hello?

David: Hey.

Kurt: Hey, what's up?

David: Nothing. I just--I just wanted to talk to somebody.

Kurt: Aww. Well, what are you doing tonight?

David: I don't know. What are you doing?

Kurt: You.

Scene Fourteen: Fisher Kitchen, nighttime

CLAIRE sits in the TV room and hears DAVID in the kitchen, fumbling through the cabinets, looking for the aspirin bottle. She enters the kitchen. DAVID is wearing CLAIRE's black, tight shirt again.

David: Shit! Fuck! Shit!

Claire: What are you looking for?

David: Aspirin. I know there was a bottle of aspirin in here.

Claire: Yeah, I took some earlier.

David: You did?! Are you OK?

Claire: Yeah. Why?

David: You found it, didn't you? You found it and kept it for yourself!

Claire: What's going on with you?

David: Nothing.

Claire: You're wearing my shirt.

KURT honks in his car outside.

David: Fuck!

Claire: What is this, like a date? (looks out window)

David: Uh--sort of.

Claire: Oh, no way! You're dating the square-dancing guy?! Weird!

David: Weird why?

Claire: No, I get it. He's hot. In a kind of generic Banana Republic kinda way.

David: Claire, I really need that aspirin bottle.

Claire: David, I really don't have it. What was in there?

David: He gave me some pills, and now I'm gonna have to say: "I'm sorry, I lost them, because I'm this old guy geek and I'm completely uncool in this world in which you seem to thrive, you perfect distillation of human evolution."

Claire: (laughs) OK, is this split personality thing like something that happens when Mom goes out of town? Cause I like you like this way better.

Scene Fifteen: Campsite

RUTH and HIRAM drink champagne by the campfire.

Ruth: Dinner was delicious.

Hiram: Food just tastes better outdoors. Do you remember what we ate the first time we went camping?

Ruth: No.

Hiram: Pork chops with fry-roasted vegetables.

Ruth: Oh, yes.

Hiram: The sky was so clear that night, just like tonight.

Ruth: Did you know you're not supposed to go camping if you're menstruating?

Hiram: What?

Ruth: It's true. My husband buried a young woman once. She went on a camping trip. She was menstruating and a bear smelled the blood and killed her in her sleeping bag. Killed one of her friends, too. But we only buried her, not the friend.

Hiram: Huh--I'm glad we're seeing each other again. (kisses her on the cheek)

Ruth: Mm hmm. Me too. It's nice.

Hiram: What's wrong?

Ruth: I've got a little bit of a headache. (takes out the bottle of aspirin and swallows 2 pills--and, yes, they are the Ecstacy pills)

Scene Sixteen: Gay Disco Club

David: Sorry I forgot those pills.

Kurt: It's no big deal. You can be my drug tonight. So what's with the guy that's been staring at you since we got here?

DAVID looks over and sees KEITH. He quickly looks away.

David: Shit! That's Keith! We dated.

Kurt: He's pretty hot. You guys still friends?

David: Not really.

Kurt: Why not? I'm friends with my exes.

David: Why doesn't that surprise me?

Kurt: He's coming over. Is he into threeways?

David: Look, he's a cop, so don't mention the drugs or anything.

Kurt: Sure, Dad.

Keith: (approaches) David.

David: Keith, hi, how's it going?

Keith: Good. It's going good. This is the last place I'd ever expect to see you.

David: Yeah, well, it was Kurt's idea. Kurt, this is Keith.

Kurt: (flirtingly) Hey.

Keith: Hi. (shakes hands)

David: Kurt teaches square dancing.

Keith: Ah. Tried to get David to go dancing with me the whole time we were together. Told me he didn't even like to dance. (KEITH's new boyfriend, EDDIE, walks up and kisses KEITH on the cheek.) Eddie, this is David, and, uh--

Kurt: Kurt. Hi.

Eddie: Hi.

David: Hi... So, how'd you guys meet?

Keith: Eddie's an EMT. Met on the job. Newlyweds in a car crash. Saved the bride right in front of me.

David: What about the groom?

Eddie: Didn't make it.

David: Wow. So the bride had eternity with the man she loved right in front of her, and then you go and save her and she ends up left behind alone. (laughs)

Eddie: That's one way of looking at it.

Keith: Well, it's good to see you.

David: Yeah.

Eddie: Nice meeting you.

David: You too. (KEITH and EDDIE leave.) Well, of course he's dating Mr. Fucking Superguy ER.

Kurt: I bet they have great sex. I mean, with the uniforms and all. You know, I dated a cop once, total control freak. Now, firemen on the other hand--

David: Is dating like an excuse for you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up?

Kurt: I don't know. Is dating like an excuse for you to see who you'd wished you'd been when you were my age?

They start making out.

Scene Seventeen: Campsite

RUTH wakes up in the tent beside HIRAM. Everything has a bluish tint to it. She drinks water from the decanter, but feels strange. She gets out her flashlight and leaves the tent.

Scene Eighteen: Gay Disco Club

KEITH watches KURT and DAVID dance. He sees KURT take out Special K and give it to DAVID to snort. DAVID does.

Keith: (disgusted) Let's get out of here.

Eddie: Why?

They leave. KURT takes off his shirt. DAVID takes his off. They continue to dance.

Scene Nineteen: Woods

RUTH continues to walk through the blue, wearing a white dress. She hears many nature sounds and caresses the branches of a nearby tree. She hugs the tree and giggles with laughter. Music that sounds as if it came from a Disney movie plays in the background.

Scene Twenty: Gay Disco Club

DAVID walks over to KURT, who is sitting at a table making out with another guy. KURT motions him over to them, but DAVID starts to leave. KURT follows him.

Kurt: David! Wait, David!

David: Who was that?

Kurt: Just a guy I know. He wants to go home with us.

David: I don't think so.

Kurt: David, come on, you'll love him! I promise! He's a total fuck machine.

David: I said no.

Kurt: Why not? Why are you taking this so seriously?

David: Because I'm a serious guy. I bury people for a living.

Kurt: Well, that shit's in your head.

David: Yeah, you're right. That shit is in my head. Look, go, have fun. I'm just too--I'm sorry that I can't--I'm sorry. Bye. (leaves)

Scene Twenty-One: Brenda's Bedroom

NATE and BRENDA lie in bed with the lights off.

Nate: You really spooked me, Bren.

Brenda: What? The idea of me dying?

Nate: Yeah.

Brenda: I will die someday. We die, Nate. We all die. (She kisses him tenderly.)

Scene Twenty-Two: Woods

RUTH continues frolicking in the forest, with Disney music playing. Suddenly, she sees a big, smiling cartoonish-looking bear, wearing a hat and a vest.

Ruth: Hello.

The bear takes out a large pocketwatch and points at the time. He begins to run. Ruth chases him, like Alice chasing the white rabbit. Finally, she comes to a hearse in the middle of the forest. She walks up to it, and NATHANIEL, SR. rolls out from under the car.

Nathaniel, Sr.: You certainly took your sweet time getting here.

Ruth: You'll ruin that shirt.

Nathaniel, Sr.: Well, who cares? (He gets up, and she touches his cheek.) What, are you hitting on me now? 2 guys aren't enough for you, ya slut?

Ruth: (laughs) Oh, dear, I suppose I owe you an apology.

Nathaniel, Sr.: Why? I'm dead.

Ruth: Yes, but I was seeing Hiram before--

Nathaniel, Sr.: I was gone long before I died.

Ruth: You'd like Hiram. He's kind. He makes me laugh.

Nathaniel, Sr.: Oh, blah, blah, blah. (RUTH laughs.) I've got my money on the florist.

Ruth: Oh, Heavens no! Nathaniel, the man's a complete savage!

Nathaniel, Sr.: (mimics her) Oh, ding, ding, ding! (both laugh)

Ruth: Oh, God, this is the hearse that was always stalling, isn't it? Remember after that funeral in Malibu for that jazz musician? We broke down on the side of PCH and we made love in the back.

Nathaniel, Sr.: If this baby could talk, huh.

Ruth: Nathaniel, what happened to us? We were so in love once.

Nathaniel, Sr.: Life happened to us. I buried hundreds of people and we watched each other grow old.

Ruth: But we're not old.

Nathaniel, Sr.: Well, technically speaking, I'm as old as I'm ever gonna get.

Ruth: We were such children when we met, and we watched those children disappear.

NATHANIEL, SR. opens the hood. Inside, there are grass and shrubs.

Nathaniel, Sr.: Dammit! Stalled again! Won't go forward, won't go back.

Ruth: Well, these can't be helping.

She moves over the grass, leaves, and shrubs. Under them, we see the double tombstone for NATHANIEL and RUTH that we saw early in the series. It says "NATHANIEL FISHER and RUTH O'CONNOR." Her birthday is November 7, 1946.

Nathaniel, Sr.: No tears.

Ruth: I miss what we had.

Nathaniel, Sr.: So find it again.

They kiss passionately.

Act Four

Scene One: Campsite, next morning

RUTH wakes up in her sleeping bag, naked. HIRAM is singing to himself. RUTH finds leaves in her hair. She steps outside to find him cooking.

Ruth: What a beautiful day! You should've woken me up.

Hiram: I thought you could use the sleep after the night we had. You've never been so passionate with me before! Thank you for a wonderful night.

Ruth: (laughs) Last night?

Hiram: You were spectacular! (she laughs) What? (they both laugh)

Scene Two: Anthony's Funeral Service

DAVID stands outside the room, directing mourners into the slumber room. The casket is closed.

David: Nice suit.

Nate: Thank you. Bought it last week. Figured I'd need more than one suit if you're gonna be a funeral director.

David: You need to pass a test first.

Nate: You can't just let go of that, can you?

David: I failed the first time I took it.

Nate: No, you did not.

David: Yes, I did. I fuck up a lot more than you might think. I fuck up a lot.

We see GABRIEL sitting beside VICKIE, who ignores him completely. CLAIRE enters in the back and waves to GABRIEL. He goes over to her.

Claire: Hey.

Gabriel: Hi.

Claire: How are you holding up?

Gabriel: OK, I guess. It's just--weird. Why are you being so nice to me?

ANTHONY's father, SAM FINELLI, enters.

Sam: You little bastard!

Gabriel: Sam, we didn't think you'd show.

SAM punches GABRIEL in the face and then kicks him in the stomach when he falls.

Vickie and Claire: Stop it! Stop it!

Sam: I'm gonna kill you, you sick fuckin'--

Nate: (holds him back) OK, everybody, calm down.

Sam: Wasted out of your mind, whacking off! Let my kid shoot himself.

Claire: You're gonna blame him?! Where the fuck were you for the past 2 years?

CLAIRE and GABRIEL leave. VICKIE cries.

Nate: Alright, just take it easy.

David: Everything alright?

Nate: Yeah, don't worry about it.

David: Thank you.

Scene Three: Room Behind the Curtain

Sam: Who the fuck was that little bitch out there?

Nate: That's my sister.

Sam: You should warn her, Gabriel has been a fuckup his whole life. When I used to live there, he used to drive his mother nuts with all the shit that he'd do: staying out all night--No fuckin' responsibility. That's my kid who's dead.

Nate: I know.

Sam: That was my gun. I bought it for Vickie. Cause I was gonna leave for a while, you know, go up north for a job and make some extra money. How can he let something like this happen? It's not right! It's just not fuckin' right! Jesus, he was 6!

Nate: Everybody dies. Some of us live to be 100, some of us never make it through our first day. That's just a fuckin' fact of nature, pal.

Sam: Who the fuck do you think you are?

Nate: You can punch as many people that you want. It's not gonna change that fact that that boy is dead and your chance to be in his life is over. Did you use that time well or did you just piss it away? Your own fuckin' life is a ticking clock, too. Everybody's is.

Scene Four: Kitchen, nighttime

RUTH unpacks her things.

David: Mom, you're home. I was worried.

Ruth: Worried? Why?

David: Uh--did you have a good time?

Ruth: Oh, David, you must go camping! It's so spectacular up there right now. Spring is such a cool time. So much color, so much detail, and the smells--it's like nothing else.

David: And you're OK? No sickness? No headaches?

Ruth: Oh, no. I had one on the trip, but I took some aspirin and it just disappeared.

David: (shocked) Yes, well, aspirin is damn good stuff.

Ruth: How was the service?

David: There was a fight that broke out, but I let Nate take care of it.

Ruth: I'm glad you boys are working so well together now. (CLAIRE enters.) Claire, you look terrible! Are you not feeling well?

Claire: I'm just a little wrecked. We buried my friend's brother today.

Ruth: He's your friend? I had no idea.

Claire: He's the foot guy.

David: Oh, my God!

Claire: Good night. (leaves)

Ruth: There's so much you wish you cold protect your children from.

David: Night, Mom. (kisses her on the cheek)

Ruth: Good night, dear.

She puts the aspirin bottle down on the table.

Scene Five: Claire's Bedroom

GABRIEL lies on CLAIRE's bed, crying his eyes out. CLAIRE strokes his hair, his head in her lap.

END OF ACT FOUR

END CREDITS

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